


The Things We Leave Behind

by shadowedrain



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beach Divorce (X-Men), Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Erik Has Feelings, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, M/M, Mpreg, My First Work in This Fandom, Post Mpreg, Post X-Men: First Class, Purple Prose, Slow Build, X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men: First Class Fix It, X-Men: First Class References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-02-22 14:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22584010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowedrain/pseuds/shadowedrain
Summary: When Erik left Charles on that beach, he didn't realize just what he was leaving behind. Years later, his past confronts him in the most unexpected of ways.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Raven | Mystique, Hank McCoy/Alex Summers, Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Moira MacTaggert & Charles Xavier, Raven | Mystique & Charles Xavier
Comments: 60
Kudos: 310





	1. Prologue: When It All Started

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I first toyed with back in 2011, not long after "First Class" came out, so it completely ignores all subsequent films. I'm also taking some creative licensing with characters and events as I go. As this is my first work in this fandom, I'm hoping it's not too bad. I do apologize in advance for any mischaracterizations as they are entirely unintentional.
> 
> Just as a warning, I will likely be slow to update. This has become a labor of love for me and I hate rushing my writing. While I do have some ideas, I don't know how long this will end up or even where it's going, so I guess we're taking this ride together.

Walking down the hallway, wondering how he could delay his course but knowing this moment would have to come sometime (‘Better get it over with now, right?’ he thought to himself), Hank glanced again at the papers he held in his hand. He had run the tests several times, positive they were flawed the first time they had come back, but the results were always the same. As much as he could not believe his own eyes, scientifically he knew that he had to accept what was staring him in the face. Now the only question he had was how to tell the professor?

Stopping outside of the study, he nervously raised his hand to knock when a voice called out, “Come in, Hank.”

‘Right, telepath,’ he thought as he turned the knob and slowly pushed open the door. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment, eyeing the other man who was standing across the room, back turned as he stared out the window, appearing as though lost in thought. Glancing again at the papers in his hand, he made a decision and took a couple of purposeful steps into the room, his face a sheet of solid determination.

“You have my results,” Charles stated matter-of-factly, finally turning around to face Hank.

Hank nodded automatically, assuming his thoughts had given him away.

“It was an educated guess,” came the reply, quick to reassure Hank his privacy hadn’t been invaded.

Again, Hank nodded. He then registered the expectant look on Charles’s face and snapped out of his daze, bringing the papers up and moving his gaze to the words he had since committed to memory due to the sheer number of times he had read them. It didn’t matter, though, for he needed to focus his attention somewhere else, anywhere else. He was positive he could not say what needed to be said if he was looking at the other man. It was going to be hard enough reading the words off the page while pretending the telepath was not there.

“I ran the tests and they came back… Well, I really don’t know how to say this except it’s incredible, unbelievable even. But I reran the tests several times and they all came back to indicate that you’re, well…”

“It’s okay,” Charles offered comfortingly with a warm smile as Hank’s eyes snapped up to meet his own. ‘I know,’ he mentally projected.

Hank’s eyes widened like large saucers before realization dawned on his face and the shock disappeared, replaced by a sense of relief that he would be spared providing an explanation mixed with a tinge of hurt over the professor seeing inside his mind. “You already know? Oh, of course. You read… because you’re… Right.”

Charles did not have to be a mind reader to know the breach of trust Hank was assuming. “I assure you, it’s nothing like what you are thinking. I did not read your mind, I simply _knew_.”

Relief flooded Hank’s features as he let out a chuckle. “I’ve heard of women claiming they knew from the start, citing intuition and maternal instincts, but I’ve never heard of a man… Well, obviously you’re the first known case. So how did you know? What did it feel like? Was it something similar to what women describe or was it because of your, you know, mutation?” All inhibitions he initially had flew out the window as his curiosity as a scientist took over, questions leaving his mouth without even thinking about them.

“Something like that,” Charles answered vaguely with an amused grin, getting a sheepish expression from the scientist. “I _will_ answer your questions, but first there is something else I must do.”

Hank nodded. He did not need the telepath to tell him just what that something was. It was pretty easy to guess at. “How do you mean to tell him?” When the smile on Charles’s face faltered, he added, “It is his, isn’t it?”

“It is.” They both knew who the unspoken he in question was. “As to telling him, I’m afraid that is a question to which I do not yet have an answer.”

“I wish I could help you, Professor, but as you can see, I couldn’t even get the words out to tell you.” He offered an apologetic glance as he said it.

“It’s fine, Hank,” Charles assured. “I’ll find a way.”

Having no cause to doubt him, Hank let out the breath he had been holding and was relieved to know his part was done. “Good. That’s good.” His eyes quickly darted to the door as he tried to determine if he could leave and return to the sanctuary of the lab.

Seeing Hank’s plight, Charles nodded towards the door and said, “You can leave now. I have a great deal to think about, anyway.”

“Of course. Thank you, Professor.” Then, just before he walked out the door, he threw over his shoulder, “Congratulations… and good luck.”

“Thank you, Hank.” Once the door closed, Charles added, “I’ll need it.”

* * *

Charles tried to tell him, he really did, but there never seemed to be a right moment to say the words.

He thought maybe he had found it when Erik had moved the satellite. Standing there, sharing such a beautiful memory, reveling in the metal bender’s accomplishment, laughing as the sun set in the sky; he could not imagine a more perfect moment. But just as he was gathering both the courage and the words he needed, Moira had interrupted, alerting them to the President’s address. Although disappointed, he pushed the emotion away and turned to go inside without saying anything, simply offering a smile, Erik following behind.

Later that night, it seemed he had been given a second chance as they sat across the chessboard from each other. Just the two of them, engaged in one of their favorite past times; it may not have been as perfect and sentimental as the moments following Erik’s retrieved memory, but it would do because it was them. However, the conversation somehow turned to the next day’s events and what lay ahead of them, not unusual considering it had been at the forefront of everyone’s mind, and he quickly felt himself losing control of the situation as Erik’s anger and thirst for vengeance threatened to overpower him.

“Shaw’s declared war on mankind, on all of us, he has to be stopped.” He thought this was one point they could both agree with, though it appeared even that wasn’t entirely true.

Erik eyed him pointedly. “I am not going to stop Shaw; I am going to kill him. Do you have it in you to allow that?”

Charles didn’t even have to say anything as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, both knowing his moral sensitivities would never stand for it.

“You’ve known all along why I was here Charles, but things have changed,” Erik picked up after taking the telepath’s silence as confirmation. “What started as a covert mission, tomorrow mankind will know mutants exist. Shaw, us, they won’t differentiate. They’ll fear us and that fear will turn to hatred.”

Things had changed; Charles knew that better than anyone. Today alone he had witnessed everything he held dear start to slip out of his reach, threatening to take him along for what promised to be a crude ride. No, he would stand firm on his principles regardless. It seemed like the one last thing he had to hold onto through the surmounting uncertainty surrounding him.

“Not if we stop a war,” he protested. “Not if we can prevent Shaw, not if we risk our lives doing so.” Despite the word coming from his own mouth, even he had his doubts as to their truth. Would it really be enough?

“Would they do the same for us?” The look on Erik’s face said it all, the question more rhetorical as they both knew the answer. Even Charles, despite his persistent optimism, couldn’t definitively say yes.

“We have it in us to be the better men.” He knew it was a futile argument before the words even escaped his mouth, but he had to try.

Erik was immediately ready, protesting, “We already are. We are the next stage of human evolution, you said it yourself -.”

“No, no,” Charles interrupted, derailing that train of thought as soon as he could. He should have known the metal bender wouldn’t be above twisting his own words.

“Are you really so naïve as to think that they won’t battle their own extinction? Or is it arrogance?”

That last one hurt, he had to admit, though he still would not be persuaded. “I am sorry.” He understood where Erik was coming from, he just couldn’t agree with him, mainly because he didn’t. Maybe it was naïve, but it was what he believed all the same.

Apparently, that wasn’t good enough for Erik, opting for an even more personal attack when his last one failed to hit its designated target. “After tomorrow they are going to turn on us, but you are blinded because you believe they are all like Moira.”

“And you believe they are all like Shaw,” Charles said without missing a beat. He also failed to miss the jealousy lurking behind Erik’s words. However, he knew they were both being overrun by their emotions and leaned forward towards Erik, calmly adding, “Listen to me very carefully, my friend. Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.”

Erik looked Charles right in the eyes, never faltering, a lifetime of determination and a passion for vengeance written all over his face for the telepath to clearly see without even needing to read his mind. “Peace was never an option,” he said with a tone of finality, all but telling Charles his decision was made, this path set in stone years before.

Although Charles would keep forging ahead, hoping against hope that something would sink in and change Erik’s mind about what he knew had the power to destroy the man, part of him feared Erik was already all but lost to him. Tomorrow would simply be the proverbial nail in the coffin.

He could have argued, but he knew he would just be wasting his breath and opted to fight another day, neither saying another word on the subject. Instead, they simply continued their game, both aware they would never be able to convert the other to their own school of thought, Charles left with the additional knowledge that he had missed yet another opportunity to discuss what had seemed to be such an important matter so many hours earlier. Now, with the weight of the next day resting so firmly on all of them, he was not so sure. With the recent conversation silently hanging in the room, as well as the threat of a nuclear holocaust on the horizon, it appeared his news could wait yet again.

Watching Erik walk out of the room and off to what he assumed was his room; Charles began cleaning up and shook his head at all that had occurred. Then, before leaving himself, he spared one last glance at the pieces laying on the board of a game that remained unfinished, that may never be finished, before heading off for the kitchen. Maybe what he really needed was something to eat while he tried to clear his thoughts, an impossible task for a telepath if there ever was one.

He slowly made his way down the hall and let his mind briefly brush over those of the mansion’s other occupants, taking a quick mental inventory.

Sean was the first he came to, detecting him in his room, thoughts a chaotic and disjointed haze emitting a sense of relaxation and mischief tinged with underlying concern, an emotion the teen was not entirely aware he even felt. However, coming from the same room was a far stronger sensation of fear and anxiety masked under a strong, sarcastic front that Charles immediately recognized as Alex. The two teens had apparently decided to spend what even they knew could be their last night alive trying to take each other’s minds off what lay ahead of them. Neither would admit to the other, or even themselves, that they might be just the slightest bit scared.

Although he was unable to see or even prevent the future, Charles knew he could at least make the present easier for them. They would need their rest if they were to take on Shaw, morning was coming early for all of them, and so he sent a wave of calm and reassurance, allowing it to wash over the two until they were as relaxed as they were pretending to be. He then silently wished them goodnight and continued on his way.

Hank was next, easy to find in his lab just as Charles had thought he would be. However, he noticed a different kind of anxiety coming from him than the one he had just encountered with Sean and Alex. He suspected it had to do with the ‘cure’ the scientist had been so excited over, especially when he also detected anticipation and adrenaline overpowering it.

A concern of his own started nagging him, nibbling at the edges of his consciousness, but after a moment’s hesitation and consideration, he pushed it away. There was no reason to doubt Hank. After all, the other man knew what he was doing, knew the risks. He had enough confidence and self-esteem issues without Charles interfering in the one area he excelled over what amounted to less than a gut feeling. No, he would leave Hank to his work and check in with him in the morning.

That just left two other people, the two that he had come to regard as the most important in his life. Although he had promised Raven that he would never read her mind, it did not prevent him from making a quick pass past her room. He was still her brother and as such was still allowed to care. If he was accused of being overprotective, so be it. It was all part of the job description as far as he was concerned.

Upon reaching her room, he noticed the light was off and initially thought she might be asleep, but quickly brushed that thought aside as he failed to sense anything coming from behind the door. Instead, her presence was radiating from somewhere that had become almost as familiar to him these past few days as his own room. Instantly he was aware of her companion as well, the feel of the other man’s mind something he would know anywhere.

He tried desperately hard not to jump to conclusions, there being any number of reasons Raven and Erik were currently holed up in the metal bender’s room, but the moment he had located her, he was consumed with the feelings of desire and need that she was emitting. He did not even need to read her mind as she was unknowingly projecting her emotions loud and clear so that he could not help but feel them. This was soon followed by Erik’s voice resonating unbidden in his head, _You are an exquisite creature, Raven. All your life the world has tried to tame you. It’s time for you to be free_ , and the briefest flash of an image; Raven, naked in Erik’s bed, Erik, and a single kiss that stopped him cold.

Sparing a hesitant glance in the direction he knew Erik’s room to be, he swallowed the lump he could feel forming in his throat and willed away the sudden churning he felt in his stomach. It was also at that moment that he blocked out any further sensations coming from the pair. His heart was already breaking enough as it was for reasons he did not care to think about; not now. The last thing he wanted was to exasperate the situation, so he hastened down the hallway and back towards his initial destination, though he found he suddenly was not as hungry as before.

‘Maybe a drink will help me sleep,’ he thought, lying to himself and knowing it. Sleep would evade him as long as the scene replayed before his eyes, a constant mental loop he futilely wished he could forget.

He reached the kitchen and made his way to the fridge, deciding that although it was pointless, he may as well get himself that drink. While it would not take his mind off anything that was roiling around in his head, and that was a great deal, and it would not make him sleep, at least it would allow him the pretense that everything could be okay. Besides, what else was he going to do?

Rooting around, eyes briefly scanning the cold appliance’s contents before happening upon his desired goal and reaching out to grab the bottle, he sensed Raven before he saw her. He had the feeling that had he not been telepathic, he would still know her presence anywhere. They were that close, knew each other that well.

“You know sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if you hadn’t found me here that night.”

“Sorry, what, you,” he started as he glanced up.

Knowing she was there did not prepare him for the sight that met him. Blue, so much blue, and naked.

“Yaah! God’s sake Raven. Where are your clothes, pu… put… put some clothes on,” he managed once he could get his mouth working, quickly averting his eyes as he did so.

Sitting at the table, she folded her hands, eyes never leaving him. “That’s not what you said when you first saw me. But I guess pets are always cuter when they are little, right?”

He wasn’t as oblivious as she thought him, knowing how much she had wanted him but unable to give her what she needed, what he knew she deserved. He also knew what she must think of him, unable to find her beautiful, to love her the way she desired, simply because she was blue, but that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true at all.

He could never fall in love with her because she was his sister first. Maybe if she hadn’t been things could have been different, but she was and they weren’t. He would never be able to see her as anything else no matter how much she wished otherwise.

Then Erik came along and…

‘Erik,’ he thought bitterly as the wound he had just suffered was ripped anew, hurt and frustration and, dare he say, even jealousy seeping in. Jealous that the two people he loved more than life itself had apparently found each other. The real reason he couldn’t bring himself to stare at Raven’s naked form, a stinging reminder of what he had seen, something he should never have witnessed.

It was really no surprise that she would run to Erik. The man had made it no secret that he adored the real Raven, the one Charles had tried to keep bottled up. He wanted her to embrace her true self, encouraged her even, yet Charles had done nothing but force her to hide. He thought he was doing the right thing, protecting them both, but he could see now that he had utterly failed. He had failed both of them and now he could do nothing but accept the consequences of his actions.

“Raven, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. I thought you’d be in a good mood,” he said, eyes glued to the bottle as he approached the table and took a seat across from her, finally glancing up again. “Hank, he tells me that he has found the answer to your cosmetic…problem.” Mind reeling, he found he was unable to stop himself as he brought up Hank and the cure the teen had worked so hard on, immediately sensing just how sore a subject it was for his sister and part of him regretting it almost as instantly. Still, it wasn’t enough to keep him from adding, “You going to tell me what’s the matter or do I have to read your mind?”

Raven’s eyes darkened and he realized too late his mistake. “You promised me you would never do that.”

“Until recently, I never had to use my powers to know what you were thinking, Raven.” He knew he was acting childish and insensitive, but right now a part of him didn’t care.

“You know Charles; I used to think it was going to be you and me against the world. But no matter how bad the world gets, you don’t want to be against it, do you? You want to be part of it.”

He listened as she chastised him, knowing he deserved it, not surprised in the least, but feeling her words as harshly as if she had actually come out and slapped him in the face. He knew part of her wanted to and he found he couldn’t blame her one bit. She was hurting and so was he. They were the cause of each other’s pain, though she didn’t realize it, and while that should have put them on equal footing, Charles found himself more than sympathetic towards her. He even found himself hurting for her pain alongside his own, for she was still his sister, his brotherly instincts overriding the jealousy that he feared could consume him. But as much as he wanted to reach out and hug her, offer her some assurance, he knew that wasn’t what she needed right now, that it would only hurt her more in the long run. So instead he did nothing. He pretended everything would be okay and simply watched her storm off.

He went upstairs, readied for bed, laid down and simply stared at the ceiling. Surrounded by total darkness, he found the room as empty, black and bleak as the thoughts swirling around in his head.

Although there were five other people in the house with him, he felt loneliness creeping upon him, threatening to overtake him. For the first time in years, since he had met Raven on a dark night much like this in the same kitchen that she had just laid herself bare in, he felt alone.

‘They have each other and it would appear I am the third wheel, standing alone,’ he thought, seeing the irony of the situation as the parallels lined up, remembering how he met both his sister and his lover, the way they had each been alone as well, and how they now had taken comfort in each other, each finding something that he apparently had failed to provide them. He had done this and now he would pay for it, but he wasn’t going to dwell on it. He wasn’t going to feel sorry for himself. If he didn’t acknowledge it, then it didn’t happen, and if no one saw the tears well in his eyes before silently streaming down his face, masked in the darkness of the room, then that didn’t happen either.

* * *

The next morning Charles opted to skip breakfast entirely. The decision was due in part to his unwillingness to watch Erik and Raven across the table, but even more so was the result of the summersaults he could feel his stomach doing, causing him to make a mad dash for the bathroom where he brought up the few remaining contents from dinner the night before. Groaning at just the idea of food, he dressed and went through the mansion, making sure the rest of the occupants (mostly Alex and Sean) were up and ready to face the day ahead of them. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure he was ready. Nonetheless, he prepared to put on a brave face and put the previous night’s events behind him.

Bypassing the kitchen, he headed outside to calm himself and get some fresh air, hoping it would help settle his stomach if nothing else. Instead, standing at the railing, looking over the grounds and seeing the satellite dish, only managed to add to his problems as he was bombarded with an onslaught of memories.

For the first time in his life, this had truly felt like home to him, his makeshift family filling the halls with a sense of belonging, unity and love that made it feel so right. He still had Raven by his side, though this time their stay was under much happier circumstances. Hank, Sean and Alex were growing and flourishing under his tutelage to the point he couldn’t help but wonder if this was how a proud father felt? And of course, there was Erik, invoking emotions so strong he had begun to think that this man was more than just his friend and lover, he was the other half of his soul, knowing him in ways no one else could, not even Raven.

It was all so idyllic, promising a future of shared moments, good and bad, that every other family, every normal family, faced despite the fact theirs was so unconventional. But now he could see that was changing. His dream was merely that; a dream, for today brought with it a strong pull of foreboding that he couldn’t shake even with his eternal optimism. He couldn’t help but think this was the beginning of the end rather than the beginning of forever, the rest of their lives, as his mind screamed it should be.

“There you are. It isn’t like you to miss breakfast.”

Charles was already smiling in spite of himself, turning around to face the metal bender while pushing his previous reverie to the back of his mind. “We have a big day ahead of us. Excuse me if I find myself unable to eat.”

Erik grinned in turn, crossing his arms as he slowly and purposely strode nearer. “All the more reason you should. We would hate for something to happen to you.”

“We?” Charles asked in amusement, raising an eyebrow. “I think you mean you.”

Shaking his head and taking a step closer, appearing as though he were about to raise his hand towards the telepath before letting it fall by his side, Erik said, “No, we. You have helped all of us this past week and without you we wouldn’t even be here. You really do make a great teacher, Charles.”

Charles faltered a little. Although quite nice to hear he had made a difference, he had been hoping, somewhat stupidly he might add, that he meant more to Erik than that. However, knowing how private the other man could be, he brushed it off. “Thank you, my friend. But I can’t take all the credit. I have to admit, my students are all quite astute.”

“You don’t take nearly enough credit, but ‘astute’, Charles? Even Sean?” Erik asked skeptically, voice laced with amusement.

Charles laughed. “Even… Yes, even Sean, despite the fact you pushed him off the satellite.”

Erik scoffed. “It was _because_ I pushed him. Just because my methods are different from yours does not mean they are any less effective.”

And just like that everything changed, tension suddenly appearing between the two as Erik’s words harkened to the previous night’s conversation and one of many reasons a rift seemed to be forming between them.

Now that the mood was considerably somber, Charles decided this might be the moment to finally tell Erik what he’d been trying to since the morning before. Admittedly it wasn’t perfect, far from it, but he knew it may be the last chance they had. One of them could die today and if nothing else, Erik deserved to know.

“Erik, have you ever given any thought to what you’ll do when this is all over? Maybe settle down, raise a family, find some happiness and make a real life for yourself?”

Erik looked confused at the sudden change of conversation and even a little hurt over the question. “I think you have me confused with someone else. A wife and children are the last thing I need and the last thing that would make me happy. I’m many things; most of them bad, but a husband and father are not among them.”

“You’re wrong, my friend. You were once and I know how painful it was for you, losing it all, but it’s still there inside of you. I can see it every day with the children. What happened wasn’t your fault,” Charles tried to soothe, only to invoke Erik’s ire.

“Don’t bring that up,” he seethed. “Never bring that up again. That part of me is dead. It died with… It died with Anya. I can’t go through that again, Charles. Don’t make me.”

Charles nodded, though he felt himself deflate at what he was hearing. Erik didn’t want any more children, would never want any more. How could he possibly tell the metal bender what he’d been hiding now? He instinctively went to place his hand protectively over his stomach, but managed to fight off the urge, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Instead, he assuredly offered, “I understand. I won’t say anything again, you have my word.”

Seeing how hard his words had hit the telepath, Erik felt his anger begin to melt away. “Where’s this coming from? If you’re trying to dissuade me from killing Shaw, you’re just wasting your time.”

“No, though I really wish I could convince you otherwise,” Charles admitted. “You’ve been so consumed with vengeance, yet the future could hold so much more for you if you’d only let it. You could have so much, Erik. So very much.”

“I can’t,” Erik denied. “Someone like me… I don’t get the happy ending you seem to think I deserve. I’ve done far too many things, horrible things, to warrant that. I’m far too broken and not even you can fix me.”

If Erik had chosen that moment to punch him, stab him even, it couldn’t have hurt more than what he was hearing. This wasn’t going at all the way he’d planned, though he found when it came to Erik, things so rarely did. “Forgive me for thinking otherwise.”

Erik studied him for a moment, feeling something was off before calling him on it. “Are you okay, Charles? You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“Perfectly fine,” Charles assured, though they both knew it was a lie, something that stung Erik more than he’d care to admit.

“I don’t believe you and now that I think about it, you are looking rather pale. The way you work around here without a thought for yourself, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve made yourself sick.”

Charles waved it off. “Don’t worry yourself over it, I’m fine. In fact, I have never felt better.”

Erik opened his mouth to argue the point, but before he could say anything, Raven appeared.

“There you are,” she said with a smile as she came to Charles’s side, echoing Erik’s words from earlier. “I was worried when you didn’t come to breakfast.”

“I wasn’t hungry,” Charles explained, as though that would excuse him.

Raven tsked. “No, I don’t want to hear it. It’s Oxford all over again, working yourself to death while skipping meals. You need to eat something or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“See, what did I tell you?” Erik said a little too smugly.

Charles rolled his eyes. “No, you thought I already was sick.” He realized too late that that was entirely the wrong thing to say as it garnered him some much unwanted attention.

Scrutinizing him, Raven slowly nodded her head. “He’s right, you do look pale. Are you sure you aren’t coming down with something?”

“I’m fine, really,” Charles insisted, receiving two sets of skeptical glances. “I promise you I am.”

“Okay…” Raven hesitantly drew out. “But I still say you should eat something before we leave.”

“Raven, love, I’m honestly not hungry. I couldn’t eat even if you forced me.” Upon seeing the idea take hold in her mind, he sent her a warning look and added, “I appreciate the concern, but don’t even think about it.”

“Fine,” she begrudgingly agreed. “But don’t think I won’t be watching you like a hawk.”

Ignoring the smirk Erik was sending his way; Charles put his arm around Raven in a half embrace, kissed her temple and replied, “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” It was then he felt a quick burst of emotion from Erik, something he would have sworn was jealousy, but it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, leaving him uncertain as to just what the metal bender was feeling. Nonetheless, he raised his eyebrow questioningly, getting a pointed look in return. Deciding not to dwell on it, he separated himself from his two friends and said, “I am absolutely certain we have things to do other than standing around discussing my health. I suggest we go inside, locate the others and head up to the lab where I believe Hank is waiting for us.”

Charles then turned around and headed into the mansion to do that very thing, leaving no room for debate. He also missed the conversation that occurred where he had just been standing.

“He’s not okay, is he?” Raven asked Erik, worry prevalent in her voice.

Erik shook his head. “No, he’s not, but I can’t figure out what’s bothering him.”

“You don’t really think he’s sick, do you?” Her words were becoming hurried, on the verge of being frantic as she imagined her brother ill, beyond all medical help. “I mean, he’s not eating anything, and he did look pale, tired even.”

“I don’t know,” the metal bender admitted, having noticed the same thing and feeling the same concern. In fact, although this was the first morning Charles had skipped breakfast entirely, it was not the first time he had shown inadequate eating habits. Over the past couple weeks, the amount he had eaten seemed to diminish, food seeming to hold no interest for him as he mostly picked at what was on his plate, giving the appearance that he was simply interested in the business of the other mutants. Now that the telepath had taken to skipping a meal entirely, citing lack of hunger despite the meager amount he had consumed at dinner the night before, Erik suspected there was more to the dietary change than met the eye. “Whatever is wrong with him, Charles does not wish to tell us. But I promise you, Raven, I plan to find out.”

Although still worried, Erik’s promise helped to alleviate her concern. Unfortunately, that was a promise he would not be able to keep.

* * *

Opening his eyes, world a mosaic of hazy bright lights and voices, Charles squinted as he tried to determine where he was. Eyes darting around, all he could see was white save for a lone window. The blinds were pulled shut, but he could see bits of mellowed light peeking through the slats, alerting him to the fleeting sun beyond as it gave way to the approaching night.

“Charles?” a female asked both hesitantly and disbelieving, one he immediately knew to be Moira not only by her voice but by the feel of her thoughts. “Oh, thank God!” She was sitting in the chair beside his bed, had been as much as possible since he’d been admitted. Finding twin pools of cerulean blue staring back at her was a most welcome sight, filling her with relief like she’d never felt before, including the moment Erik had stopped the missiles from killing them all.

“I’m in a hospital,” he stated emotionlessly, staring in her direction but not at her. No, as the onslaught of memories hit him, he found he could only stare through her as he rode out the wave of thoughts and emotions they brought.

_The shared joy and pride of Erik lifting the submarine… Fear as the surge of wind swept over the jet, trying desperately to save Erik only to find himself the one in need of saving… Concern watching Erik chase after Shaw… Frustration and, more importantly, emptiness as the helmet severed their connection… Agonizing, blinding pain as the coin ripped through Shaw’s brain, extinguishing all life from the psychotic mutant… Bitter disappointment at what his friend had become as he watched the man levitate Shaw’s body and listened to his plans for the future… Horror as the missiles raced towards them followed by desperation as the weapons changed course to return from whence they came… The senseless need to save Erik as Moira foolishly fired at the metal bender… Even more pain as the bullet hit, sending him careening into the sand, the children’s screams echoing in his mind… And then…_

_“I am so sorry,” Erik said as he cradled Charles only to turn his attention to Moira, nothing but rage coursing from him in waves. “You! You did this!” Even as he said it, he used his abilities to pull at the dog tags around her neck, tightening them in order to kill her._

_Watching her eyes widen as Erik choked her, Raven, Hank, Alex and Sean took a few purposeful steps forward. They hadn’t gone very far when Erik’s voice yelled, “I said back off!” lifting the boys and flinging them back, Raven stopped in her tracks._

_“Wait, please. She didn’t do this, Erik. You did.”_

_Hearing Charles’s pleas, Erik released Moira, the CIA agent falling to the ground as she gasped for breath. His demeanor appeared to soften as he spoke to the telepath, tears gathering in his eyes. “Us turning on each other, it’s what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles. I want you by my side. We’re brothers, you and I. All of us, together, protecting each other. We want the same thing.”_

_Knowing what he had to do, unable to give up his principles no matter how badly he wanted to, Charles offered him a sad smile as tears pooled in his own eyes as well, all the while feeling his heart breaking into thousands of little pieces. “My friend, I’m sorry. But we do not.”_

_Erik standing and motioning Moira forward, taking Raven with him as Azazel teleported them from the beach, the boys running to him as he could do nothing but lie there…_

_He felt numb and not just in his legs which he vocally declared he could not feel. In a matter of moments, he had lost everything dear to him and the feelings; sadness, emptiness, grief, bitterness, pain… They were all too overwhelming._

_As Moira and the boys tried to determine how they were going to get him back to civilization and a hospital, he tried to stay strong and not show how close he was to breaking. But although he could pretend, he could not stop a lone thought that was running through his head: their lives had just been shattered and nothing would ever be the same again._

Mind returning to the present, he noticed the concern on Moira’s face and the questioning look in her eyes. Giving her a small reassuring smile, he offered, “I’m sorry, my mind drifted for a moment.”

She shook her head to let him know it wasn’t needed. “It’s okay. This hasn’t been easy for anyone. We’ve all been through so much, you especially.”

He couldn’t disagree with her there. Waking up to find her sobbing over him and without a clue as to what had transpired between Cuba and the situation that he now found himself only compounded the problem.

“I vaguely remember convincing the CIA to rescue us. After that, it’s a blank. What happened?” he finally asked.

“You passed out on the way; the doctors think it was shock. They took you in for surgery, but afterwards you wouldn’t wake up,” she explained as he took in for the first time just how bedraggled she appeared, her eyes tired and on the verge of tears. If he had to guess, he’d say she hadn’t slept in days, something she all but confirmed for him, adding, “You’ve been in a coma for four days now. We were… We were afraid you wouldn’t wake up.”

Taking it all in stride, he nodded and immediately turned the conversation from himself. “Where are the children?”

He didn’t want to say ‘boys’, though that was all that remained since the departure of Raven and Angel, not wanting to give up hope that one day they would return to him. As long as he was alive, he would welcome them back and ensure they always had a home. He also knew that after all they had been through; ‘children’ wasn’t entirely accurate either. They had more than proven themselves as fully capable adults, accomplishing more than most people ever would in a lifetime, but to him they would always be children. They would always be his and he would never stop caring for them, trying to pick up where their own parents had failed.

“They’re home. They’re perfectly fine,” Moira assured him, “but they’re worried about you.” Then, averting her eyes from his as she fought to find the words, absently fiddling with the hem of her skirt, she considered her next words carefully. Still it came out a choked mess, her gaze darting back up to meet his. “Charles, I-I don’t know how to tell you…” Now the tears were streaming down her face and she couldn’t help but sniffle as she tried to wipe them away. Taking a breath to steady herself, she began again. “The doctors said, well the bullet… They think you may never walk again.”

Watching her sob for him and the loss he had just suffered, Charles reached out and placed his hand on hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s all right, Moira. I had suspected as much.”

It hadn’t been that difficult for him to put two and two together considering he hadn’t been able to feel his legs since the incident. However, as tragic as the idea of never having use of his legs, of never even feeling them again, was, it paled in comparison to the far greater and more painful loss he had incurred when that bullet struck. For Raven and Erik both leaving him at once left a large void in his heart and life he knew could never be replaced. In all honesty, he didn’t even want to try filling it, knowing it would be nothing more than an exercise in futility.

He lifted his hand to Moira’s face and gently wiped away the tears, soothingly saying, “I know you feel guilt over what happened, but this is in no way your fault. You weren’t trying to harm me, nor could you have known the bullet would hit me. It was merely a freak accident.” Hearing her begin to settle down, he added, “I promise you everything will be fine. It will all work itself out.” Even as he said it, he had no idea how it would happen, but he could feel his words were instantly calming Moira and assuaging the guilt she hadn’t allowed herself to let go of. Besides, at that moment he had to have something to hold onto before he fell apart as well. Someone had to be strong through all of this and it appeared that someone would yet again have to be him.

Tears subsiding, she sniffed a couple of times and wiped away the remaining tears herself, certain she looked an even worse mess than before as her mascara ran. Putting that at the back of her mind, she hesitantly took a look in the direction of the door where the sounds of doctors, nurses and patients could be heard milling about up and down the hallway. “I should go get the doctor and let him know you’re awake. They’ll want to check you over,” she explained, getting a nod in return as he consented.

She stood up and slowly turned around, making her way out of the room in her quest to find a doctor, reappearing only a couple minutes later with one in tow.

“Ah, Mr. Xavier is it?” the doctor asked as he looked over Charles’s chart. Glancing up and getting a nod he continued. “My name is Dr. Clayton. I see you finally decided to join the land of the living.”

Charles smiled halfheartedly. “Yes, I hear I was out for some time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

“Not at all. When the body undergoes a great deal of stress, it can go into an overload, if you will, and shutdown enough to rejuvenate itself,” Dr. Clayton began to explain. “In other words, it sends itself into a coma. Unfortunately for you, your body had undergone a great deal of shock prior to even being shot. The bullet merely compounded the problem.”

Dr. Clayton proceeded to examine Charles, checking his vitals and asking questions before stating, “You appear to be quite fine, other than the obvious. No apparent brain damage. It’s just...” He then glanced warily back down at the chart again, Charles feeling his unease and hearing snippets of dread rolling around in his head. “Mr. Xavier, I don’t know quite how to tell you this, but when the bullet hit, it, well -.”

“It hit my back, damaging the vertebrae, destroying the nerves and making it so I will never walk again,” he interrupted, a small sigh of resignation escaping his lips. Seeing the shock on the doctor’s face and the pity on Moira’s, he smiled sadly at both of them. “Yes, Moira was good enough to tell me when I woke up just minutes ago, though it wasn’t that difficult to figure out considering I can’t feel my legs.”

Dr. Clayton looked flustered but quickly tried to compose himself. “Yes, well, I don’t ever want to rule anything out. There’s always the chance -.”

Once again Charles interrupted him. “We are both men of reason and logic, doctor. Please don’t belittle my intelligence, as well as your own, by finishing that sentence. We both know that is an impossibility and the sooner we accept it, the better.”

“Of course, I apologize,” Dr. Clayton offered abashedly.

“When will he be able to go home?” Moira interjected, the one question remaining unanswered.

“We will want to keep you a little longer, mainly to ensure you are well enough before we release you,” Dr. Clayton explained. “Hopefully by the end of the week we can send you home.”

“Of course,” Charles replied. He desperately wanted to leave now, but he understood medical protocol. “I hate to be rude, but if that is all, would you mind terribly if I were to rest now? I understand I have spent the past four days asleep, but I’m afraid my energy has not yet recovered.”

Dr. Clayton hurriedly nodded. “Yes, I believe that is all. Again, I am truly sorry about your condition, Mr. Xavier. I wish we could have done more.”

Charles waved off the apology. “No need. I’m sure you did everything you could. Thank you, Doctor.”

Taking that as his cue, Dr. Clayton took one last look at his patient before exiting the room.

“It’s late and you’re exhausted. Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” Charles offered Moira once the door had closed. Seeing her face tense as she started to protest, he insisted. “I’ll be fine here. If anything happens, there are doctors and nurses just outside the door who will come to my rescue. Besides, you mentioned Sean, Alex and Hank were worried about me. I’m sure they would appreciate knowing I’m awake and will be just fine.”

It was the last part that rid her of any reluctance she may have had as she nodded her head in agreement, saying, “Yes, of course. I should let them know right away.” She stood up and gave him one last look over, as though to assure herself he truly was okay and that she was doing the right thing leaving him here alone, before adding, “I’ll be back as soon as I can to see you, maybe bring Sean and Alex as well.” She didn’t have to say anything about Hank, both thinking the same thing.

“That would be wonderful,” he told her in all honesty, wanting to see them to assess for himself that they really were okay, not that he had any reason to doubt Moira. He simply chalked it up to the paternal instinct that had come over him since he had first recruited them. He also knew his hormones had been wreaking havoc on his body, something he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to.

“Then I’ll see you later, Charles.”

He watched as she left the room, plunging the room into near darkness as she turned out the lights, quietly closing the door behind her and leaving him alone with nothing but his thoughts for company.

_“You’re not…scared of me?”_

_“I thought I was alone.”_

_“Would you date me? ...Looking like this?”_

_“What an adorable lab rat you make, Charles.”_

_“You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if you hadn’t found me here that night.”_

_“Are you really so naïve as to think that they won’t battle their own extinction? Or is it arrogance?”_

_“That’s not what you said when you first saw me. But I guess pets are always cuter when they are little, right?”_

_“After tomorrow, they are going to turn on us, but you are blinded because you believe they are all like Moira.”_

_“You know Charles; I used to think it was going to be me and you against the world. But no matter how bad the world gets, you don’t want to be against it, do you? You want to be part of it.”_

_“Us turning on each other; it’s what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles. I want you by my side. We are brothers, you and I. All of us, together, protecting each other. We want the same thing.”_

_“You promised me that you would never read my mind.”_

He could see now that he had failed them. It had finally happened; he was alone in the world. He had been so blind and stupid, unable to see what he was doing to either one of them, and now they were both gone. If it weren’t so pathetic, he might have laughed at how fitting it all was.

He then began to think of just how many times that word had been used in recent months. When it came to mutants, it seemed to fall second only to ‘different’ as each of them had been abandoned by the very people who should have cared for them most simply because of a genetic variation, something they were powerless to prevent. Raven, Erik, Hank, Alex, Sean… Hell, even Angel and Darwin. They individually drifted through life without another soul, their mutations serving as a barrier to isolate them from the human population and all that was deemed normal. Even as they wandered the globe amongst the billions of other people, they could not help but feel thoroughly ‘different’ and ‘alone’.

But that had been before. Then Charles had found them, one by one, and tried to show them that even as the world turned its back on them, he was still there.

Unfortunately, even that had not gone as planned. He had failed to help Erik and Angel while further isolating Raven, all three eventually leaving when the moment was right. What had once been a family was now lying in irreparable pieces.

He may not have been able to save them, but he refused to give up. Even as he was lying there in that hospital bed, a newfound hope began to break through the dam of despair that had built itself up during the encounter with Shaw. For although he had failed before, he could learn from his misgivings and work towards a better future; a future where mutants could coexist with humans while embracing their powers for the betterment of society. There were so many of them out there, just like his first recruits, that were misunderstood and had nowhere to go. Although he had yet to reach out to them, they were there just the same and they needed him. Even without Erik by his side, he could still provide a home for them with the love they deserved. His school would be a reality yet.

While he was thinking, he came to the realization he was wrong about something else; he wasn’t alone. There were thousands of mutants he had yet to meet, but there was more than that. Although broken, part of his family remained. Hank, Sean and Alex were back in Westchester waiting for him, Moira had proven she was still by his side, and of course there was still…

‘No, I’m not alone,’ he finally thought, words so similar to the ones he had told Erik what now seemed like ages ago, a promise made to the metal bender involving his entire being. He glanced down, even though he couldn’t see very well in the darkened room, lifted the sheets, and placed his hand on his currently flat stomach. “I’m not alone.”

The whispered words drifted into the night and he knew then that no matter what happened he would never be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated. Please let me know what you think or if you're even interested in reading more of this.


	2. Hide and Seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this took me a little longer to write than I anticipated. I already started the next chapter. No promises, but it shouldn't take nearly as long to post. 
> 
> From this point forward, we're diverging from canon completely, so we'll see how this goes... But first, just a few notes: 
> 
> This chapter jumps ahead in the timeline. There isn't a lot of plot here, but I still thought it was important. 
> 
> If you're looking for a canon character to stand in as Charles and Erik's child, I apologize as that didn't happen. I originally considered it, but then decided, nope, I'll make my own. In retrospect, I'm not sure that was the best idea. But we're going with it! Hopefully I didn't butcher this too badly or make Charles too OOC as a parent. (Seriously, I think I've looked at this chapter far too much to tell anymore)
> 
> Also, Scott and Jean make a brief appearance. Fair warning, I've aged them up for this story to make it work. So yes, they will be back in future parts, along with Ororo, though they will be primarily in the background as I want to focus more on the relationships between the characters from First Class.
> 
> Okay, I think that's everything. I hope you enjoy!

“1…2…3…” Hank counted loudly, emphasizing each number.

A high-pitched giggle was the only response as he continued.

“…7…8…9…”

“Quick, hide!”

The sounds of feet scampering could be heard, followed by another giggle, this time farther away.

“This is so lame.”

“Do you want to be caught? Because you can just be it right now,” Hank stated, uncovering his eyes with his hand and turning away from the tree he had been leaning against long enough to reprimand Sean. Receiving nothing but silence in return, something he took as a firm denial, he ordered, “Then go hide!”

“Fine,” came the resigned agreement, feet trudging along as Sean sighed and walked away, far slower than the previous pair of feet had gone.

“…15…16…17…18…19…20…”

“Where’s Sean?” asked a new voice, one he knew far too well.

Hank stopped counting again and answered with a sigh of his own, turning yet again, this time to find Alex. Just what he needed. “He’s hiding. Or at least he’s supposed to be.” Eyes making a quick sweep around the near vicinity, he failed to spot the redhead, though that didn’t mean anything.

“Right…” Alex drew out, an amused smirk forming on his face as it dawned on him just what the two mutants were doing. “Aren’t you a little old for hide and seek?” he asked, earning him a glare.

“Go away. I’m supposed to be counting.”

Alex merely shrugged and dropped down to sit against the tree Hank had just been leaning against, staring expectantly up at said scientist. “Go ahead. Don’t let me stop you.”

Murmuring about pain in the ass laser shooters and an experiment he needed a guinea pig for, Hank saw Alex’s face momentarily pale before it slid back into a mask of indifference as he laughed off the threat. Still, he could detect some nervousness in the other man’s tone, telling him that for all of Alex’s bravado, he’d won this round. He then re-covered his eyes and resumed counting, fearing he was never going to reach fifty at this rate.

“You know, you could just skip the rest and start looking now,” Alex offered. “They won’t know the difference.”

“That’s cheating.” Though he had to admit the man had a point.

Alex smirked. “You know you want to.”

Hank chose to ignore Alex’s goading and continued counting, determined to stand on principle even if it killed him. “Even if I have to kill Alex,” he muttered to himself, though it seemed the other man had heard him if the ensuing chuckle was anything to go by. Counting louder to drown out Alex, he finally reached fifty.

“Ready or not, here he comes!”

Again, Hank glared at him before taking off in search of the others.

Sean was the first one he found. It wasn’t hard considering the redhead had all but abandoned the game, stopping near a copse of trees about fifty yards away to talk with Jean Grey.

“Aren’t you supposed to be hiding?” Hank asked, causing Sean to turn with a sigh and stare at him in exasperation, Jean chuckling all the while.

“Dude, you’re cramping my style,” Sean complained, not noticing as Jean caught sight of Scott and took off in his direction.

Hank raised an eyebrow as he tried not to laugh. “I hate to break it to you, but you could be James Dean and it wouldn’t do any good.” Watching Sean’s face take on a confused countenance, he shook his head. “You know what, never mind. Just go wait back at the tree with Alex while I finish looking.”

Sean merely shrugged and slowly headed back.

“I see you struck out again,” Alex commented, taking far too much enjoyment in the situation.

“It was Hank’s fault,” Sean complained, plopping on the ground next to the blond. “I had her totally in my grasp until he showed up.”

Alex started laughing. “You’re delusional. You know that, right?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Clearly, he was frustrated now.

“Because it’s true,” Alex said as though it were completely obvious, getting a glare in return. “Face it; no matter what you do, you’re never going to get her. That girl is totally gone for my brother.”

Sean tried to dispute it, but at that moment, Jean walked by with Scott, totally enthralled in what he had to say, both laughing at an inside joke. Forced to face the fact Alex was right, he leaned his head back against the tree, closed his eyes and groaned.

This only served to make Alex laugh again.

“Uncle Hank found me,” a small voice interrupted in a clear pout. It belonged to a little girl of about five years old, with fine, shoulder-length dark brown hair that was tinted where the sun hit it, and eyes as blue and deep as the ocean. Her arms were crossed, and she was trying her best to glare at a spot just beyond Alex and Sean, as though by doing so she could burn a hole right through it.

“That’s okay, Sophie. He found Sean, too,” Alex tried to soothe, though there was laughter in his voice, causing Sean to open his eyes and send him a look that seemed to say, ‘Yeah, thanks a lot.’

The glare instantly melted off Sophie’s face, eyes wide, as her arms fell to her side and her body relaxed. She then took a few steps over towards the redhead and asked, “Really Uncle Sean?”

Sean switched his gaze to the girl and nodded. “He found me before he found you.”

That seemed to do the trick as a smile lit up her face and she giggled, squeezing her way between the two of them and taking a seat on the ground as well. “Thank you, Uncle Sean,” she said, giving him a hug that caused him to redden in embarrassment, not that he seemed to care too much. She then looked over at Alex. “I didn’t know you were playing. When did he find you?”

“He didn’t find me, I found him,” the blond replied with a smirk.

Sophie appeared confused until Sean snorted and said, “Yeah, because you’ve been here the whole time!”

“That’s cheating, Uncle Alex,” she was quick to point out.

“Yeah Uncle Alex, that’s cheating,” Sean mimicked, earning him smack to the back of the head. “Ow!”

Alex began snickering, only to get chastised when Hank appeared.

“Whatever happened to setting a good example?”

The expression on the blond’s face became incredulous, as if to ask, ‘Are you kidding me? Us set a good example?’ Noting the girl sitting beside him, her big, blue eyes staring up at him expectantly, he instead asked, “Aren’t you missing someone?”

“Yes,” Hank admitted begrudgingly. “I can’t find Ethan.”

“Ooh, I know where he is!” Sophie exclaimed as she jumped up and moved towards him, grinning from ear to ear, excited that she knew something the grownups didn’t.

“Okay, Sophie,” Hank said, getting down on her level and looking her kindly in the eyes. “Where is he?”

She impishly shook her head in return, still grinning.

“Sophie…” The blue mutant’s voice had taken on a warning tone, alerting her to the fact that she had better tell them now if she didn’t want to get in trouble, yet she still refused.

“Uh-uh,” she said, giggling all the while in amusement at the exasperated expressions on her three uncles’ faces.

“Come on,” Alex said with a sigh, standing up from his place on the ground and dusting himself off. “We’ll help you look again.”

Sean nodded in agreement, taking a little longer to get up.

The small group walked around the grounds for several minutes, calling out to Ethan as they searched, but to no avail. It was as though he had well and truly disappeared.

“I really don’t want to tell the professor we lost his son,” Hank groaned, getting a look of sympathy from Sean. He was expecting Alex to make a crack at his expense, so it threw him off balance when the blond tried to reassure him instead.

“He couldn’t have gone too far and he’s not the type to just run away. Believe me, I know. So, he must be around here somewhere,” Alex said, earning him a small smile and a nod of thanks from Hank. “We’re just missing him.”

“He _is_ small,” Sean interrupted, ignoring the subsequent sigh and eyeroll he got from Alex.

Ignoring Sean, Hank asked, “If you were Ethan, where would you go?”

“That’s easy. The lab,” Alex answered without hesitation. “He practically lives there with you.”

“Yes, but he knows he’s not supposed to be in there without an adult,” Hank reasoned. “Where else would he go?”

Alex thought for a moment before shrugging. “He could be literally anywhere. That kid is good at disappearing if he doesn’t want to be found.”

“Trees are good for that,” Sean commented, ducking as Alex took a swipe at him.

Hank’s eyes went wide as he suddenly thought of something. “What did you say?”

“Trees are good for hiding?” Sean said hesitatingly, eyeing Alex as though afraid the blond would try to hit him again.

An off-handed comment, something Ethan had said in passing…

_“Trees are good for reading. And getting away from annoying sisters.”_

He knew where to find Ethan.

* * *

About halfway up an oak tree, a small boy of about five with wavy dark brown hair, a shade darker than Sophie’s, and gray eyes glinting like steel was reclining on a large branch. He was leaning against the trunk of the tree, thoroughly engrossed in the book in his hands. Despite that, he was also highly aware of his surroundings. He was always aware. So, it came as no surprise to him when a high-pitched voice screamed out his name.

“Ethan, come down!” Sophie called out as loud as she could, voice carrying up despite her small size.

He paused midsentence on the page, annoyed at being interrupted. Glancing down, he carefully scrutinized her for a moment, not saying a word, before he returned to his reading. He knew it would upset her, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he had wanted to play this stupid game, she had. He just wanted to read his book in peace.

“Ethan!” She impatiently yelled again. “Daddy wants us to come in!”

That one did get his attention, though he never gave any indication, eyes still glued to his book.

While he wasn’t proud to admit it, he had been avoiding his father the past few days. There had been something weighing heavily on his mind. Typically, he would have sought his father out for advice, but this particular topic was one he didn’t know how to broach. The last thing he wanted was to inadvertently project something and have his thoughts laid bare for the man to see. Not on this. 

“Come down now, Ethan.” This time it was Hank calling up to him, followed a few moments later by, “Don’t make me come up there!”

Ethan glanced down at the scientist. He could see the determination on his face but chose to ignore him, something he hated to do to the man he so admired, but there was nothing else for it. ‘In for a penny, in for a pound,’ the old adage briefly passed through his mind. With a shrug of feigned nonchalance, he returned yet again to his book.

It wasn’t long before Ethan could feel Hank’s presence on the branch next to him. Moving the book to his lap, he glanced up at him in amusement. “Hello,” he greeted as innocently as he could despite the mischief shining in his eyes.

Before Hank could say anything, Ethan’s mind was flooded with his father’s voice ordering, _Ethan Liam Xavier, come in right now, no objections._

Ethan winced a little, knowing he had pushed too far as he heard irritation underlying the patience his father normally projected. _Yes, Daddy_ , he relayed back even as he was grabbing his book and trying to make his way down the tree at the same time.

“We’re in trouble,” Sophie told him, voice barely above a whisper.

_I know_ , Ethan mentally told her as he joined her.

He then took a hesitant look at Hank out of the corner of his eye. Instantly assessing the situation, he mentally ordered Hank to leave and go back to where he knew Alex and Sean were waiting. Throughout it all, the only indication to what he had just done was the telltale finger he had briefly brushed to his temple which caused Sophie to pause and her eyes to widen, thereby allowing him to put some distance between them.

Not one to be left behind, Sophie sprinted after him as fast as her legs would carry her. It seemed that having an extra inch of height on him was good for something after all as she easily caught up with him, slowing down her pace to walk right alongside him. “You’re getting much better,” she told him, offering him a warm smile.

For the first time since that afternoon his face softened and he returned the smile, one that was even reflected in his very eyes. Knowing she had noticed meant a lot to him. “I’ve been practicing. A lot,” he admitted as they entered through the side door and walked down the hall towards their father’s study.

“Soon you’ll be as good as Daddy,” she praised, causing him to humbly avert his gaze to his feet as they padded along the floor. “I’m so proud of you,” she added.

Ethan knew exactly where that came from. They were the same words he’d so often heard their father use when training the students, yet they always felt special when they were directed at him and Sophie. He would never admit it to his sister, but it was something he needed to hear. The fact she was the one saying it carried weight. Then again, maybe he didn’t need to say it; maybe she already knew. There was an easy way to find out, but no, he knew how she felt about that. He wasn’t about to repay her kindness that way.

“Thank you,” he finally murmured, shoving his feelings aside. It was the most acknowledgement he could bring himself to convey.

He then detected the sadness she was feeling, lying hidden beneath all the layers of honest happiness, pride, and selflessness she was emitting. That was so her. The source of her pain became immediately obvious to him. Although he wasn’t one for words and reassurance, not the way Sophie was, he knew she needed this. He glanced up, placing his hand on her shoulder to stop her in her tracks. Gaining her full attention and seeing the question in her eyes, he said, “You’ll get there, too Soph. I know you will.”

While she clearly appreciated the effort, she couldn’t help but state, “I’m not like you and Daddy. I’m not a mutant.” The last part was barely audible as she cast her eyes to the floor.

“You are,” he insisted. He had no doubt of it despite the evidence to the contrary. It was only a feeling, something he hated relying on, yet he knew. “You just… You haven’t gotten your powers yet, but you will.”

“Really?” came the hopeful reply, Sophie’s eyes sparkling again as she dared to believe what her brother was telling her.

He knew what that meant to her.

She may have been taller, but he was slightly older. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did for both of them. He took his role as ‘older’ brother very seriously (he also took advantage of it from time to time when it suited it him) and had taken it upon himself to protect her. Sophie looked up to him and he knew it. That wasn’t to say she always listened to him, quite the contrary in fact; she could be incredibly stubborn and opinionated when she wanted to be. However, they had always been there for each other, functioning as an equal support system, and Ethan never forgot that.

“It will happen. When it does, you’ll be great. I know it,” he answered her confidently, giving her the reassurance that she needed. Almost immediately he felt the wind knocked out of him as she threw herself forward and enveloped him in a hug to show her gratitude. He pulled himself away from her after a few moments and nodded. “You’re welcome.” Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed. “Together?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

Sophie smiled brightly at him and gave a firm nod. “Together.”

* * *

Staring out the window of his study, Charles couldn’t help but grin as he observed Hank and Alex together under the shade of a nearby tree. He didn’t even have to use his powers to know Alex was antagonizing the blue mutant. It was a normal enough occurrence between the two. Besides, Hank’s facial expression was a dead giveaway. That said, he knew they – and their bickering – had come a long way since he had first recruited them. It was a nice sight to see.

It was also a welcome distraction while he waited for his children to arrive.

He had been sitting at his desk grading papers while the students took the opportunity to go outside for the afternoon and enjoy some time in the sun, something that had been sorely missed in the preceding winter months. Even the faculty had taken advantage of the reprieve, though Sophie had ultimately been responsible for luring Hank out of the lab despite Ethan’s protests; Ethan had taken more than a little convincing as well. Much as he wished he could join them he had a mountain of paperwork to get through and it unfortunately wasn’t going to grade itself.

Although he had been wrapped up in his work, it did not mean he was oblivious to what was occurring outside. Being a telepath made it easy to track everyone within the mansion, but it especially proved beneficial in monitoring his own children. He allowed them certain leeway within the grounds, knowing he would have to give them even more freedom as they grew older, but that didn’t stop him from being their father. He still worried and had no doubt that would continue even after they were fully grown, independent adults. 

As such, he was aware of the situation not long after it occurred. He knew Sophie wasn’t being intentionally disobedient. For her, it was simply part of the game. Still, the fact remained that she had failed to listen to Hank. While there was no harm done this time, it could be a serious problem down the road. He intended to fix this before it got that far.

Ethan was a different matter altogether. Despite the incident earlier, one he would still need to talk to him about, Charles had larger concerns when it came to his son.

While he had always been somewhat reserved, Sophie being the more extraverted of the two, Ethan had recently become far more withdrawn. He was ashamed to say he hadn’t noticed it at first, but as time went on it became impossible to miss. More often than not, Ethan refused to play with Sophie, choosing to spend his time alone when the two had always been inseparable before. Charles originally chalked it up to nothing more than a phase, just a part of growing older and more independent, but then he started pulling away from everyone. Even Hank had noticed it, commenting that Ethan seemed to have a lot on his mind, more than usual.

The problem was that he had yet to tell anyone and Charles doubted he ever would.

Some of it he had picked up himself. It was true that he tried to respect his children’s privacy, but he had caught snippets of it since Ethan’s young age prevented him from shielding all of his thoughts, his thoughts and emotions often carrying to his father. He suspected that was the real reason Ethan had been avoiding him. It hurt, but he understood. However, even with those bits and pieces, he had been unable to figure out the exact cause of his son’s problems.

He had tried giving him his space and hoped that with time, Ethan might feel comfortable enough to come to him. Now he could see he had been wrong. He wasn’t going to force his son to tell him anything, but a conversation was long overdue.

Feeling Ethan and Sophie’s presence outside of his door, he knew it was time.

“Ethan, Sophie, please come in,” he called out, projecting a moment later to Ethan, _While I’m proud of how well you’re controlling and growing into your powers, please make sure you never abuse them._ He was trying to sound more collected than he felt to help put the twins at ease, having picked up on their apprehension. It seemed to do the trick as almost immediately the door opened and the two entered.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Sophie immediately apologized before he could say anything, eyes averted to the floor as she slowly walked forward. Coming to a stop in front of the desk where her father was sitting, Charles’s face softened and the beginnings of a smile, albeit a sad one, appeared.

He knew her apology was not simply empty words in response to being reprimanded. “Sophie, look at me,” he gently prodded, waiting until her eyes met his before continuing. “I know you are sorry, love. I also know you did not mean to cause any harm, but that does not mean what you did was okay.” There was no doubt in his mind that she understood and knew exactly why she was in trouble.

He was well aware that his son was something of a prodigy, especially in the sciences where he excelled, something Ethan had inherited from him it seemed. It had earned Ethan the reputation of being the smart sibling, something Charles detested as he knew people were severely underestimating his daughter. Yet he also knew that while Sophie may not have been as knowledgeable as her brother in the lab, she was just as bright and incredibly adept at piecing things together.

“I didn’t listen to Uncle Hank when he was worried because he couldn’t find Ethan,” she explained, confirming his suspicion.

“Yes,” he answered, a true smile on his face now. He then motioned her over, turning to face her as she slowly made her way, lifting her up onto his lap and holding her as she snuggled into his chest. “I do believe Uncle Hank almost had a panic attack. Try not to do that again, all right?” Feeling her nod against him, he pecked her on the top of her head. “Good.” He then pulled back enough to look her in the eyes for what he wanted to say next. “And I wouldn’t worry too much about not having your powers yet. They will appear when the time is right.”

“Then why does Ethan already have his?” she asked curiously.

“You and Ethan may be twins, but you are still individuals, each special and unique in your own way,” he explained. “That doesn’t make him any better or worse than you, just different. His powers do not define him anymore than your lack of powers define you; both of you are so much more. But always remember that whether you have powers or not, it will never change how much I love you.”

Sophie’s eyes lit up as she seemed to accept this answer, hugging him again. “I love you too.”

Charles closed his eyes as he returned the hug, soaking in the moment before he opened them again. “Now, why don’t you run along and find Ororo? She was looking for you earlier.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Sophie jumped off his lap and started to run for the door. Before she left, she seemed to remember Ethan was still standing there as she stopped. Turning to him, she asked, “Aren’t you coming?”

“He’ll be along shortly,” Charles assured her, eyeing his son the entire time to make it clear he was expected to stay, not missing the ‘Oh’ that appeared on Sophie’s face as it dawned on her what he intended. Once Sophie left, closing the door behind her, he said, “I think it’s time we had a talk, Ethan. Are you aware of why you are here?”

“I didn’t listen to Uncle Hank,” came the dismissive reply.

While Charles appreciated his honesty, he was disturbed by Ethan’s nonchalance. “Yes, quite deliberately, I might add. Don’t think I approve of your attitude either. What you did out there was incredibly disrespectful. I know you are aware of why your actions were wrong, so I will not ask, though we will discuss revoking your lab privileges if you continue to act like this.”

That seemed to get a response as Ethan’s eyes widened, Charles picking up the mix of regret and dread that he was feeling.

“But that isn’t the only reason I wanted to talk to you,” Charles continued. “I get the feeling you have been avoiding me. Are you going to tell me why that is?”

Ethan stared at him somewhat defiantly, not saying a word.

When it became evident Ethan wasn’t going to say anything, Charles decided to take the initiative. “What’s troubling you?”

“Nothing,” was the immediate reply. Too immediate.

“No, there’s something,” Charles pressed. “You’ve changed recently. Something is bothering you and I can see that whatever it is, it is the cause of this behavior. Now what is it?” When he didn’t get an answer, he said, “Ethan, I want to help you, but I can’t unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why don’t you just read my mind?” Ethan challenged.

Charles flinched at the reminder, shoving it to the back of his mind. He knew _that_ wasn’t what Ethan meant. There was no way for his son to have known. Still, that didn’t make it any easier.

As to Ethan…

His children were the most important thing in the world to him and he wanted them both to feel like they could come to him with anything. That required them to trust him, which meant having a certain level of trust in them. He knew if he entered their minds whenever he wanted something, it would be a violation of whatever trust he had built and over time, it would only lead to resentment. He knew that far too well.

He also knew exactly what Ethan was doing. Based on the emotions he was picking up he had been right. Something _had_ been bothering Ethan, but the young boy was afraid it would upset him. Much as he wanted to identify the source of the problem, he wasn’t about to go prodding into his son’s mind. He had made that mistake before at great cost and it was not one that he intended to repeat; his son was not something he could afford to lose. So no, he couldn’t take the answers he wanted from him, no matter how easy it would have been or how much his son might want him to.

Despite the emotional turmoil he was feeling, he calmly told Ethan, “You know I won’t do that unless I feel I have to. Right now, I’d rather you tell me yourself.”

Ethan studied him for a moment as though determining whether he should or not. Still, he remained silent.

Seeing the indecision, Charles tried to make it easier for him. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. There’s nothing you could say that would make me love you less.”

Hesitating for only a moment longer, Ethan finally asked, “Why don’t I have a mother?”

Although not what Charles was expecting, he couldn’t say it was completely out of the blue. If anything, he had always known this day would come; he was only surprised neither of his children had asked this question sooner. Still, he knew something must have prompted Ethan to ask.

“What brought this on? Did one of the students say something to you?”

While he had tried to instill a sense of security and inclusion amongst his students, he knew that children could still be cruel, sometimes even when they didn’t mean to be. The idea that one of the students had hurt his son, even if unintentionally, did not sit well with him. Although it was true that he cared for everyone he had brought into his home, his children would always come first.

Ethan vehemently shook his head. “No, it wasn’t them.” He paused for a moment and his eyes averted despite the encouraging look from his father.

When it became obvious that Ethan wasn’t going to tell him, Charles decided to let it go for the time being; a battle for another day. He then knew what he needed to do, having put it off long enough.

“Sophie, please come in. I know you’re out there.”

The door slowly opened, and the girl entered, tentatively looking up at her father.

“While I wish you wouldn’t eavesdrop, I’m not upset with you,” he kindly reassured her as she stepped forward, easily picking up the concern she had over the matter and feeling relief flood over her almost immediately. “The question Ethan asked is something that concerns both of you, so it is only fair you both are present when I answer it. I think it is time you know the truth.”

As though realizing the importance of what he was about to tell them, Sophie moved over to Charles’s side and stared up at him in anticipation, devoting her full attention to him. Ethan, however, hadn’t said a word or moved even the smallest fraction.

“Come here,” Charles told Ethan, picking up the boy and putting him on his lap much like he had his daughter earlier, positioning him so that he could easily see both of his children at the same time. His son may not have been as lavish with outward displays of affection, but he could still tell when the boy needed it even if he wouldn’t admit it, and now was one of those times. “You and your sister are very special,” he began explaining, glancing from Ethan to Sophie. “You don’t have a mother because you have two fathers instead.”

“Two fathers?” Ethan asked in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

If the look on Sophie’s face was anything to go by, she didn’t either.

Charles couldn’t help but think how adorable the two looked right now with their faces scrunched up, but he refrained from saying as much so as not to upset his son. “When two people love each other very much, they have a child, or in the case of you and Sophie, children. However, the person I fell in love with wasn’t a woman, but a man. I loved him very much and out of that love came the two of you. Does that make sense?”

Both nodded their heads; Sophie quite eagerly and Ethan more slowly as he tried to work through what he’d just been told. However, they also both appeared concerned.

“But why isn’t he here?” Ethan logically interjected before his widened as he came to his own conclusion. “He didn’t want us.” It wasn’t even a question, the words carrying a tone of dejection despite Ethan’s best efforts to sound disinterested and detached.

Charles had no doubt Ethan would cut that part of him off entirely if he could. Before he could even answer, he was immediately met with Sophie’s emotional quarry of, “Doesn’t he love us?”

Ethan just shook his head. It was obvious he was holding back tears as he averted his gaze, though Charles had seen them all the same.

“Don’t ever think that,” he assured, attempting to sooth them. “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. He doesn’t even know about you because he left before you were born.”

“Oh,” was all Ethan could say, somewhat sadly.

Sophie, meanwhile, stared sympathetically at her father, offering a heartfelt, “I love you, Daddy.”

It was obvious to him that she was trying to make up for the love her other father was unable to give him. “Thank you, Sophie. I love you both more than anything in the world.” Then, noting her concern directed towards her brother, he added, “Ethan, I guarantee he would have loved you, _both of you_ ,” he made sure to emphasize, “if he had ever met you. It would be impossible for him not to.”

“Really?” Ethan asked, trying not to sound desperate for reassurance. 

Although Ethan tried to hide his emotions, often considering them illogical and unnecessary, Charles knew they were there just the same, bubbling just below the surface where anyone who was truly looking could find them. In this instance, it wasn’t even that difficult. He was feeling the rejection of his other father, something that was overwhelming him, and Charles knew this was one problem he couldn’t easily fix.

_“That part of me is dead. It died with… It died with Anya. I can’t go through that again, Charles. Don’t make me.”_

The words came to him unbidden, words that had sealed his fate and that of his children, followed by the promise he had made the metal bender. He had already broken so many promises. Remembering the desperation and anger, he had no intention of breaking this one.

And yet, while he knew it was true Erik didn’t want children, he really did believe that he would have loved them. Contrary to what everyone else seemed to think, including Erik, the man wasn’t heartless. Charles knew that better than anyone. The other man had walled his heart off to so many, but it was still there. So yes, he did believe that with time, Erik could have come to love Ethan and Sophie.

He had a hard time believing there was anyone who couldn’t love these two. They already had everyone who knew them wrapped around their cute little fingers. Even Alex had proven to have a soft spot for the twins, especially Sophie who could get him to do anything with a simple glance. That one had surprised everyone, including Charles.

Not for the first time, he wished Erik were here to see these two precious children he had helped create. He liked to think that if the metal bender could just see them, he would feel the same way Charles did every single day. Yet much as he wished for it, he knew it wasn’t possible. That door was closed, but it changed nothing. While he knew he would never be able to give his children their other parent, he could still provide them with love and reassurance, hoping it was enough.

“Yes, Ethan,” Charles finally answered his son, before adding softly, his voice breaking a little, “You are so much like him. You both are.”

“Tell us about him,” Sophie requested in much the same way she would ask Charles for a story each night before bed, Ethan nodding his head in agreement. Having never heard about their other father, it was no surprise they would be curious and want to know as much as they could.

Sighing, Charles thought for a few moments about what to tell them. Where did he even begin? There was such little time and yet so many moments between them. Those moments had brought him so much joy, but also a great deal of pain.

“Erik was – is,” he quickly corrected himself, “one of the strongest people I have ever met. He survived so much,” he trailed off, thinking about the one person he had known better than himself. Or at least thought he had.

Now he had to admit that so much time had passed, so many things had changed, that he may not know the other man at all. The last time he had seen him, at least in person, had been that horrific day on the beach, one that still filled him with anguish and left him with nightmares. The only things he did know were those he heard in reports whenever Magneto was behind an attack, whether through the news or through the accounts brought back from his own students sent out to prevent as much damage as possible.

He wasn’t about to share that with his children. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Seeing the expectant faces of his children, waiting for him to continue, he said, “He was absolutely brilliant, though he never thought of himself that way. It wasn’t just his strength. He was also highly intelligent and incredibly determined. We actually met when he was trying to raise a submarine and almost drowned.”

“He could raise submarines?” Sophie asked excitedly, bringing Charles back from his thoughts and causing a smile to alight his face at his daughter’s enthusiasm.

“Not at first,” he answered as he thought back on the day that he had pulled the other man from the water. Even after all of these years, the memory was still bittersweet. “He had to learn how to truly unlock and control his power before he could manage that, a power that allows him to control metal. He can move and shape it, even manipulating the magnetic waves around him so that he can move himself.”

Ethan nodded his head in understanding. “So, he can fly.”

Charles chuckled. “Yes, I suppose you could say that.”

“I wish I could fly,” Sophie said in awe. Having seen Sean move through the air simply by using his voice, she often marveled at how wonderful it would be to move above the ground.

“Maybe one day you will. You never know,” Charles told her, voice invoking endless possibilities. He wanted to encourage her. While he had no doubt that she was a mutant like him and her brother – _‘And Erik,’_ his mind traitorously added – he had no idea how her powers would manifest. He did have his theories, though, and secretly there was a part him that even hoped for one thing in particular. _That_ was something he would never voice.

Even as Sophie’s face lit up at the thought of flying, Ethan chose to ask the question Charles knew they both had been wondering. “What does he look like?”

“He is quite tall and lithe in build, which I imagine you will grow to be as well, Sophie,” Charles told her, noting her excitement over having inherited something from her other father. “You also have his hair as well as some of his facial features. You look so much like him, but more than that, you have his passion and determination.”

He then turned to Ethan, not wanting him to be left out. “Although I am afraid that physically you more closely resemble me, your eyes are his and you have his brilliant smile. But where I really see him in you, Ethan, is in your personality. He always had this intensity for everything he did, something you share, but you also have the same quiet inner strength. You are what I always knew he was capable of being.”

For the first time since he had entered the room, Ethan gave a small smile. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. “I wish I could see him.”

Charles knew what Ethan meant. The boy wanted more than to just see his other father; he wanted to be able to meet the other man. Much as it pained him to deny his children anything, this was something he just couldn’t give him. But then his eyes lit up a bit as he was struck with an idea. “I’m afraid I don’t have a photograph, there was never time to take one, but I may have something just as good.” Without explanation, he closed his eyes and accessed one of his memories of Erik.

It wasn’t hard to find, knowing exactly which one he wanted. It was that day so many years ago when the metal bender had moved the satellite. Despite everything that came after – despite all of the pain and heartache he had endured – that memory remained one of his favorites. There had been so many emotions contained in that single moment in time. It was something special he had shared with the other man and now it only seemed fitting to show it to the children they shared as well.

Once he had it, he projected it to his children, hearing them both gasp as they took in the scene that he had shared with them. When it had ended, he opened his eyes and found himself crying, small tear tracks making their way down Ethan and Sophie’s cheeks as well by virtue of sharing in not only his memory, but the feelings that accompanied it.

“He loved you too, Daddy,” Sophie finally said as Charles moved his hand up to wipe away the tears from first her cheeks and then Ethan’s. “I know he did. So why did he leave?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? There were so many reasons, yet none of them ever felt adequate. They had never been enough for him, so how could he possibly find the words to explain Erik’s leaving to his children? He knew he couldn’t tell them what had happened that day. It was his fault and yet it wasn’t. He had failed Erik, hadn’t he? And yet they were both to blame for what happened on that beach. The complexities of the situation replayed in his head like a broken record. So many reasons, so many factors, so many variables he wished he could go back and change.

They had loved each other, or so he thought. Sophie seemed as sure of it as he had all those years ago, before… He knew there was really only one answer he could give.

“Because it wasn’t enough,” Charles answered honestly, his heart deeply, maybe even foolishly wishing it were otherwise. He knew it was insufficient, even to him, yet it was all he had to offer them. How he wanted to give them so much more. He wanted to give them everything.

But then both of his children latched onto him, surprising him in the case of Ethan, showing him just how much they cared. He knew in that moment that despite everything, he was still the luckiest man in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone reading this, I know things are stressful and the world is pretty crazy right now. As such, I'm going to work really hard to get the next chapter out sooner than later. While I can't do much, I can write and hopefully provide some enjoyment during this crisis. As long as I can write for all of you, I will.
> 
> Also, while I don't personally know any of you, I want to extend the same offer that I have already given my friends. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. This is an open-ended offer for everyone, totally judgement free. Everyone is talking about caring for physical health, which is obviously important in a pandemic, but mental and emotional well-being are as well.
> 
> We will get through this.
> 
> As to this chapter, let me know your thoughts; comments help fuel me, so any you leave are greatly appreciated! If nothing else, I'm hoping people still want to read this as I still have a lot more planned for this story. For anyone wondering about Erik, he will be coming up, just not quite yet (I'm making him wait a bit). Also, for anyone who wanted to see Charles as a new father with infants, let me know as I may be able to work in a flashback or two.
> 
> In the meantime, stay safe out there!


	3. Go Fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having just wrapped up an amazing birthday weekend (not saying how old I am) and with Halloween almost here, I wanted to give you all something to celebrate. So I'm gifting you with this long overdue update. At least, I hope you think of it as a gift.
> 
> I do apologize for the delay. Between writers block and an unexpected issue that came up in my personal life, this took a lot longer than I anticipated. Unfortunately, the situation in my personal life is ongoing, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again, but please know I have no intention of abandoning this story. So expect some very sporadic updates for awhile.
> 
> As for this chapter, it kind of goes hand-in-hand with the last one. So more of the twins! At least, I think that's good.

The rain was pouring from the heavens above like drops from a watering can onto the lush green foliage landscaping the grounds in a cornucopia of colors. Although necessary for the nourishment and continuation of life, something Charles was apt to point out whenever the students bemoaned the rain, it was still cold, wet and dreary. It also made it quite dull and miserable for anyone sentenced to spending the day within the confines of the mansion.

There was one noticeable exception to this; for Sophie, a dreamer with a fertile imagination, the weather provided the perfect excuse to make the most of her creativity. She attended a ball at Buckingham Palace with Ororo, fought off pirates on the high seas with Scott, and explored the universe with Jean. Now she was trying to thwart Hank’s attempt at bringing Frankenstein’s monster back to life. 

It was right in the middle of the last one that Alex made the mistake of wandering into the lab, apparently a popular destination on this rainy day, with the intention of seeing Hank. Instead, he was confronted with an energetic child, a frustrated little telepath and a slightly frazzled scientist. 

“No, you can’t do it!” 

“But it’s important for progress. Bringing back the dead would be a great scientific advancement.” Hank tried to play along somewhat unsuccessfully, unable to keep an amused grin from working its way onto his face even as Ethan refused to indulge his sister.

“Interrupting something?” Alex asked, eyebrow raised as he took in the scene. 

“She’s ruining my time with Uncle Hank,” Ethan complained with a scowl.

“I’m trying to stop Uncle Hank from creating Dr. Frankenstein’s monster,” Sophie explained, ignoring the glare from her brother. 

Alex tried not to laugh, nodding his head in understanding. “Yeah, you really have to watch out with him.” He then turned to Hank. “If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with an angry mob at your door.” 

Hank rolled his eyes. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind. Did you need something or are you here just to take up space and harass me?” 

‘Ouch, that’s a bit of blow to my ego,’ Alex thought, though he knew he deserved it. 

He had actually planned to spend some time in the lab, at least until Hank grew frustrated enough that he kicked him out, but it looked like that had just happened. Usually it took a lot more to get to the other man, but he didn’t blame him. It didn’t take a genius to see Hank was in over his head. He knew there was an easy answer, yet it was one that would require him to leave. What he wanted to do right now wasn’t the same as what he knew he should do.

‘I hope it’s worth it,’ he thought to himself with a sigh. 

Decision made, he nodded at Hank with a grin. “Actually, my afternoon was free so I thought I’d see how much damage I could do in here, but it seems you caught onto my master plan. Since I’m obviously not welcome here, I think I’ll go hang out with Sean instead. He’s better company anyway. You coming Sophie?” He watched as the girl snapped her head up, turning her attention to him, hesitating as she considered her answer.

“I can’t leave,” she finally said, though it was obvious she wanted to go with him. “Who will stop Uncle Hank?”

“If Hank _does_ bring something back from the dead, I’ll come up here and destroy it myself,” he assured her. “There are some benefits to being able to shoot lasers.”

“You can’t!” she cried out, looking horrified. “He’s not really bad, just misunderstood. That’s why I have to stay. If he is alive, he’ll be attacked. He’ll die. That’s wrong.”

“I knew Daddy shouldn’t have read that book to her,” Ethan muttered.

Alex’s eyes caught Hank’s from across the room, seeing the other mutant was just as amused as he was, both of them struggling not to laugh at the twins. Managing a straight face, he tried again. “Okay, Sophie. I won’t harm anyone, including the monster, but I really don’t think we have to worry. I’m sure your father would know if Hank was going to do something like that and he’d put a stop to it. Besides, Sean isn’t nearly as good at cards as you. It would be too easy to beat him and where’s the fun in that?”

Sophie seemed to consider it for a moment before a smile lit up her face. “Okay,” she agreed, not even waiting for him as she walked towards the door. 

As he turned to follow her, he caught Hank mouth, ‘Thank you,’ at him, taking him by surprise and causing him to almost trip over his own feet. He hoped Hank didn’t catch it or he’d never let him live it down.

“Come on, Uncle Alex!” Sophie called impatiently from the doorway when she realized Alex wasn’t coming.

“I think you better go,” Hank told him with a smile.

‘Yeah, it was worth it,’ Alex thought as he followed Sophie. 

* * *

Getting Sean to agree wasn’t as hard as Alex had expected, though he supposed he had Sophie to thank for that. All it took was a “Please, Uncle Sean?” and he immediately gave in, with the caveat that he wasn’t playing rummy again; not after last time. 

Alex had agreed to the terms with ease, which was how he found himself half an hour later playing yet another round of Go Fish. It hadn’t been a kind round for him, as evidenced by the seven cards in his hand. He still was holding out hope, noting that Sean had about half a dozen of his own while Sophie was down to five. Seeing she wasn’t paying attention, Alex reached over, deft hands taking four of her cards and adding them to his own. As luck would have it, none of them matched anything he had. 

‘I should have given them to Sean,’ he thought. He then glanced over to see if Sophie had noticed the missing cards, but found her mind was elsewhere. 

Sitting by the window, she appeared to be watching the rain fall, pouring down from the sky so quickly now that it ran down the roof and cascaded to the ground like a waterfall. It obscured the view of the yard, giving the appearance of a watercolor painting that had been splashed with liquid, causing the colors to bleed and blur on the canvas. 

Alex just shook his head in amusement. Last time it rained she had told him about a magical world full of fairies. He couldn’t help but wonder what she saw when she looked out there now.

“Sophie, you there?” Sean finally broke the silence that had settled, having realized the girl was somewhere else entirely.

Startled from her daydream, she gave one last longing look to the wet world outside before turning her head and glancing at Sean. “Sorry.”

Sean chuckled and shook his head. “It’s your turn.”

She glanced down at her hands, eyes widening as she saw she only had one card left when moments earlier she’d had five. Glancing suspiciously at the table’s other occupants and receiving mock innocent looks, it was obvious she didn’t buy it. As though knowing it was an argument she wouldn’t win, she sighed and asked, “Uncle Alex, do you have a five?”

Alex pulled a card out of his own hand which had now grown to about a dozen cards and handed it to her. “As luck would have it, I do.”

“You should with as many cards as you have,” Sean commented, earning a glare. 

“It’s not like you’re doing any better. Remind me, how many games have you won?”

Laying the pair on the table in front of her, Sophie turned back to the scene outside. This time she closed her eyes and listened to the rain while waiting for the two men to finish their game. The sound of the countless crystal drops beating against the mansion’s numerous windowpanes and the ground outside in a steady cadence lulled her back into her own mind. 

While Alex noticed Sophie was lost in yet another daydream, he let her be as he and Sean continued playing, trying to determine who would own bragging rights over the other.

“Do you have a two?” he asked Sean absently.

Sean’s grin was a dead giveaway even before he said, “Go fish.” 

Alex frowned as he went to pick up another card.

“You’re going to have half the deck if you keep this up.”

Before he could reply, words on the tip of his tongue, Alex noticed the card he had just drawn matched one of the cards in his hand. With a wide grin of his own, he set down his cards. He couldn’t help but chuckle upon seeing the dumbfounded look on the other man’s face as it registered that he had just discarded two separate pairs.

“What the…” Sean cried out, his outburst snapping Sophie out of wherever her mind had been, trailing off as though suddenly remembering there was a child present and he needed to watch his language. “How do you get rid of four cards when you draw one?”

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. He knew what Sean was thinking, that he had somehow managed to cheat, but there was no way the other man could prove it. “I guess I didn’t notice I already had two kings.” 

Sean looked like he wanted to dispute the matter, but instead opted to take his turn. He watched Alex with suspicion as he did, as though he was afraid the blond would somehow make another pair or two materialize out of thin air without having done anything. “Do you have an ace?”

“Go fish,” Alex said with a laugh, taking far too much enjoyment out of watching Sean fail at a children’s game. Not that he was doing any better, though at least he could take some solace in the fact he’d won a round while the redhead had somehow managed to come in dead last every single time.

“What do you know about Papa, Uncle Alex?” Sophie asked suddenly, just as Sean was drawing a card from his unsuccessful turn. 

“Papa, huh?” Alex asked, having never heard her use that word before. “I guess that depends. What is it you want me to tell you?” His eyes scanned over his cards as he determined which would be the best to ask for. “Sean, got an eight?”

Sean grinned at him gleefully. “Go fish, dude,” he said as Alex groaned, drawing from the pile. He then turned to Sophie to give his thoughts on the matter even though the question hadn’t been directed at him. “The professor’s a pretty all right guy. I mean, he took us in and helped us use our powers when no one else would.”

“He cares about us more than our own parents,” Alex added, grabbing a card out of his hand and pairing it with the one he had just picked up, turning both around and holding them up to show Sean in triumph before discarding them, the redhead just shaking his head in disbelief.

“No,” Sophie said sitting up straight in her chair and leaning forward, her small elbows on the table despite Charles’s many attempts to teach her proper table etiquette. The frustration of not having gotten her meaning across properly was clear in her voice. With Sean and Alex’s attention focused squarely on her, both clearly confused at just what she meant, she explained. “Not Daddy, Papa. I want to know about my other father.”

Sean and Alex simply sat there in stunned silence for a moment before glancing first at each other, exchanging a look, and then back at Sophie.

“What other father, Sophie?” Alex asked, trying to play it off as though he didn’t know what she was talking about, all the while trying to figure out how she could have known.

“Daddy said I have two fathers,” she calmly explained. “I want to know about Erik.”

Erik. It was a name that hadn’t been uttered in the mansion since the incident they now referred to as ‘the divorce.’ For all practical purposes it was, as the two men they had come to know as their parents – better than any biological parent ever could be – created a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon that could not be bridged and permanently went their separate ways. They, the kids in all of this, even found themselves being split down the middle like assets. There would be no shared custody; Raven and Angel would go with Erik while Charles would keep Hank, Sean and him. 

Alex quickly concluded that if this is what being normal was like, not only was it vastly overrated, it downright sucked. 

After that miserable day, having lost so much, the three of them refused to think of the metal bender as Erik. It became an unspoken agreement among the trio. Erik was their friend; someone they had trusted and had helped train with them. That man was now dead to them after the way he had hurt the professor and abandoned them all on that godforsaken beach. Raven too, for that matter. A father and a sister both lost in the blinking of an eye as Magneto and Mystique arose from the ashes of destruction Shaw had set into motion so many years before. 

Alex had the feeling that even in death the power-hungry mutant was getting the last laugh and it filled him with disgust to know everything Shaw had worked for remained alive and well in his creation. While Erik referred to himself as Frankenstein’s monster, he wasn’t, not really. Erik was someone who had redeemable qualities for all of his flaws, good buried inside of him despite what he may think. The real monster was what emerged from the wreckage of the submarine, the mutant Magneto.

But the little girl sitting at the table, staring back at them as she patiently awaited an answer to her question, didn’t know all of that. She wasn’t asking about Magneto; she was asking about Erik. 

She was asking about her father.

Although the professor had never volunteered the identity of Sophie and Ethan’s father, it didn’t take a genius like Hank to figure out who it was. There weren’t exactly a lot of options and given how the telepath and the metal bender were joined at the hip prior to their fallout, it was easy to conclude he was the only possibility that made sense. Of course, Charles’s heartbreak at losing Erik and his subsequent temporary withdraw also pointed in that direction. It had been enough to make Alex want to seek out the man just so he could cause him the same pain he had caused Charles on a physical, mental and emotional level. The perfect pain trifecta, Hank had called it.

Still, despite his suspicions, this information still came as a bit of a shock to him; Sean too, if his wide-eyed expression was anything to go by. Hearing what had always been a silent and taboo topic confirmed made it all the more real as he tried to process the fact that Charles and Erik had been having an affair, the physical evidence literally staring them both in the face. Now that he was confronted with it, it was hard for him not to see the metal bender’s presence in both children.

Alex and Sean both put down the cards they were holding, Alex gathering them all up and re-stacking the deck before placing it in the middle of the table. 

“I’m not sure we’re the ones who should be telling you about him,” Alex finally said, Sean nodding his head in agreement.

“He’s not someone we talk about.”

“I know,” she said with a sad sigh, her blue eyes closely resembling a lost puppy. “No one talks about him, but he’s my father. Please, tell me something about him, Uncle Alex.”

Sean and Alex shared a look, silently coming to an agreement. 

“Erik was different,” Alex offered, trying to choose his words carefully. Although he despised what the man had become, doubting he’d ever be able to forgive the metal bender for the pain he’d put Charles through, he still cared for the little girl before him and the last thing he wanted was to destroy the dreams she had likely built up around her father.

Of course, Sean didn’t even try to sugar coat things. Snorting, he said, “Different? The guy was crazy.” As Sophie’s eyes widen at this revelation, he added, “His way of doing things was downright scary, complete opposite of the professor, but he meant well.”

“I think what Sean’s trying to say is that Erik helped him learn to fly,” Alex explained with a smirk directed at the redhead. 

“Yeah, by pushing me off a freaking satellite dish,” Sean scoffed, his tone making it obvious he hadn’t forgotten the incident and possibly still held a bit of a grudge toward the metal bender. “That’s not exactly something you forget.”

Sophie’s eyes widened almost impossibly wider. “Papa pushed you? Why?” 

“I think he was trying to help,” Sean warily admitted, “in a strange, psychotic sort of way.”

She slowly nodded her head as she processed this new information. “He cared, but he’s not like Daddy.”

Alex laughed. That was certainly one way of putting it. He couldn’t dispute it though. “You couldn’t find two more different people if you tried, but somehow it worked for them. They always seemed happiest when they were together.”

“And they were _always_ together,” Sean added, sharing a look with the blond. 

Sophie looked up at him, confused. “I don’t understand. What happened? If he was happiest with Daddy, why did he leave?”

“That really is something we shouldn’t be telling you,” Sean answered, finality resonating within the words. “That’s your father’s story to tell, not ours.”

“But Daddy won’t tell me,” she countered.

“If your father didn’t tell you something, there’s probably a good reason for it.” Alex knew quite well what that reason was and if the wary look on Sean’s face was anything to go by, the redhead did as well.

She looked down at the table for a moment as she considered that before glancing back up at the pair. “Daddy said it wasn’t because of me and Ethan. But he was happy with Daddy. I know he was. Then he left.” She paused a moment before she hesitantly asked, voice much softer. “Was it us, Uncle Alex?”

“No!” he quickly denied as he took in her growing sadness, anger building as he added another reason to his list of why he wanted to strangle her missing parent. “It wasn’t you or Ethan. Your father was right about that.” 

He honestly couldn’t say what was going through the metal bender’s mind that day, not even Charles could. He also had no way of knowing just how much Charles had told him before he left, though he did have a hard time believing the other man would have just left two children behind for the past five years without a word. While he may have hated what Erik had become, he couldn’t believe that from even him. Despite all of that, there was one thing he knew for a fact; there were a lot of reasons for what occurred and not one of them was related to the little girl before him.

“If it wasn’t us, why did he leave?”

Alex could feel his walls crumbling even as Sean averted his to keep from giving into the little girl. “There was a fight that day. It was pretty bad,” he admitted. “I don’t think they meant to split, it just kind of happened.”

“It was like a divorce,” Sean added. “They couldn’t work through their problems and had no choice but to separate.” At this, he made a face. “It pretty much sucked.”

Alex shook his head and rolled his eyes at the redhead, though he was thinking the exact same thing. He then turned his attention back to Sophie who appeared to want more. “Your parents loved each other, but they wanted very different things.” He remembered back to that day on the beach when the two men had tragically concluded as much, realizing their lives had diverged beyond repair. “Their beliefs split them apart and made it impossible for them to stay together any longer. Hank, Sean and I stayed with your father and Erik left.” 

He wasn’t about to add just what else they lost that day. If Charles wasn’t going to tell them about Raven, then it wasn’t his place. He saw understanding cross Sean’s face as the other man remained thankfully silent. 

“Is he ever coming back?” Sophie finally asked, eyes hopeful while her voice made it clear she was afraid of the answer. 

“I don’t know,” Alex answered, thinking to himself, ‘But for all of our sakes, I hope not.’

* * *

“You’re being far too quiet, Ethan,” Hank told him, adding another chemical to the flask before safely setting it down on the table and turning around to face the boy in question. “Even for you. This doesn’t have to do with Sophie barging in here earlier, does it?”

Ethan situated himself on the stool and shook his head, answering just above a whisper, “No.”

Hank nodded and started to go back to his experiment when he paused mid-step and said, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know, Uncle Hank,” he absently answered. Even so, he hesitated before asking, “The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask, right?”

“That’s right,” Hank said with a chuckle. “However, I’m going to assume that isn’t what’s been on your mind, so what are you afraid to ask me?”

Ethan glanced down at his feet, took a breath, and then glanced back up questioningly as he asked, “What do you know about my father?”

Sitting on the stool across from the boy, Hank shrugged, more than a little surprised by the question. He had been expecting something far worse considering Ethan’s demeanor. “The same as you, I suppose, maybe more. Why, what do you want to know?”

“Did he love Daddy?”

Hank’s mouth made a small, silent ‘oh’ as he realized just who Ethan was talking about. He also knew Charles must have said something to the boy because none of the students knew and while Alex and Sean gave the indication of suspecting something, he couldn’t imagine them mentioning the metal bender. Most days the pair liked to pretend the man had never existed in the first place. 

Yet for all of his intelligence, not even his Harvard education could prepare him for the task of answering Ethan’s question. Considering his response, gray eyes staring back at him in a mixture of curiosity and anticipation, he couldn’t help but wish Charles was here doing this instead. Not only because he was the child’s father, but because he knew the other man far better than anyone else. He also had a much better way with words.

Sighing, Hank finally said, “I honestly don’t know what Erik felt. None of us ever truly understood him aside from the professor, but based on what I saw, I’d like to think he did.”

“But he left,” Ethan added with a sigh of his own. “How he could leave? I can’t imagine being without Daddy. How could he? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Love’s irrational,” Hank pointed out, though he could see where Ethan was coming from. Although he knew why Erik had left, it didn’t make it any easier or less painful on any of them. Especially Charles. 

“Yes, but you’re supposed to do anything for the people you love even if it hurts,” Ethan disputed. Then, dropping his voice so Hank almost couldn’t hear, he added, “I would for Daddy and Sophie.”

Watching Ethan deflate a little, Hank inwardly cursed that he was the one inadvertently causing it. He also wanted to curse Charles and Erik for causing this entire situation in the first place. “I know you would. I can’t explain Erik’s reasons for what he did, Ethan. That’s something only he knows. All I know is that both of your fathers made some decisions the day they separated that made it impossible for them to stay together.”

“So, he didn’t want to leave?” It appeared he could better relate to the idea of his two fathers being forced apart through less than ideal circumstances, even if they were circumstances of their own making.

Hank shrugged. “I wish I knew. They were both so strong, our leaders and parental figures through everything, but that day they appeared so vulnerable as they were forced to make some difficult decisions that tore them apart. That was a day that we have all run through our heads more times than we care to remember. It’s also one we try to pretend never happened because of just how hard it was on all of us.” 

“What happened?” Ethan asked.

“A lot of things,” Hank admitted, not knowing where to start or even how much to share. “There was a fight and both of your fathers were hurt in different ways. Sometimes words can be just as harmful as weapons.”

Ethan nodded. “Yes, Daddy always says we should be careful what we say because it can hurt people.”

“He’s right,” Hank agreed, remembering the words that had been said that day. “I think he knows that better than anyone. Some words were said that day that caused a lot of harm. He said some things that hurt your father.”

“And he left,” he stated sadly. “Where did he go?”

“I don’t know. He left with Raven-.”

“Raven?” Ethan asked, face scrunched up in confusion. “Who’s that?”

Realization hit Hank that while Charles may have told the twins about their other father, he had definitely left a lot out. He was conflicted as to how much he should tell the boy, but he knew he would have to say something now that he had brought her up. “She used to live here with us. Before everything.” 

“So she was a mutant?”

Hank nodded. “She could change her appearance into anything, but her natural form was blue.”

Ethan considered it for a moment before commenting, “I never heard Daddy mention her before.”

“No, I doubt he would. He loved her a great deal. It was hard losing both of them.”

“But I thought he loved Daddy?”

Hank smiled. “There are different kinds of love. Like how you love your father and sister.”

“So Raven is Daddy’s Sophie?” Ethan asked as he tried to understand.

“Something like that,” Hank confirmed.

Ethan sat there in silence for a few minutes. Hank was just about to turn around and go back to his experiment, thinking the conversation over, when the boy asked, “Where are they now? My father and Raven?”

“I don’t know.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Hank really didn’t know where the two were at that moment. He wasn’t about to tell the boy any more than that, though he had a feeling Ethan would figure it out eventually.

“That’s okay, Uncle Hank. Thanks anyway.” Ethan then quickly hopped down off the lab stool and took off without another word before the blue mutant even had a chance to say anything. 

“You told him about Erik,” Hank stated plainly, glancing up from his work as Charles entered the room.

Charles nodded. “He was asking, and I thought it time. It was inevitable that they would realize they only have one parent instead of two. I had just hoped they would be a little older when it happened.”

Hank raised an eyebrow. “Really? I can’t say I’m surprised. He’s not an idiot. Neither is Sophie.” 

Charles chuckled. “No, they certainly aren’t.”

“Then you realize he’s going to figure it out, don’t you?” Hank asked with a pointed look. “He was asking me about him just now. Ethan is like a dog with a bone and Erik isn’t exactly gone, you know.”

Charles sighed. “I know. I could’t keep this hidden forever. Or them.”

“I hate to say it, but you better figure out how you’re going to tell Erik. Or are you not planning to tell him?” Hank hated bringing it up, but he knew it wasn’t just going away. Charles had ignored the problem long enough. Now that the twins knew, it was only a matter of time before Erik did as well. He wasn’t looking forward to that anymore than Charles.

“No, I suppose I should,” Charles agreed, resignation in his voice. “I just don’t know that I’m ready yet.”

Hank gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know, but I doubt it will get any easier. It’s been five years.” 

“Yes, you’re right,” Charles agreed again, a fake smile on his face. “I will figure it out.”

As Charles walked away, Hank shook his head. “I don’t envy him this at all.”

* * *

_Ethan!_ Sophie mentally called out for her brother as she tore off through the mansion. She was in a hurry and the last thing she wanted to do was waste time searching for him when he could be anywhere, though she knew the lab was the best possible location to begin a search. _Where are you? Ethan, I have something to tell you!_

“Right here,” he said from behind her, startling her and stopping her in her tracks, though not before she had tripped and nearly toppled into a nearby end table. It was the floor that caught her in the end, banging her up a little though without the serious injury she would have sustained had she fallen into the table’s sharp corner.

Picking herself off the floor and turning around, all the while rubbing her elbow from where she had knocked it, she came face to face with the concerned face of her brother. While he wasn’t known to be the most sensitive person, she knew he cared about her.

“I’m fine,” she told him before he could ask, getting a dubious look in return. “I am.”

“Okay…” he said, his tone making it obvious he still didn’t believe her. “You were calling me. Did you want something?” 

“Oh, right!” she exclaimed, immediately brightening at the reminder of what she had to tell him. It wasn’t that she was less intelligent – far from it – so much as her mind tended to race so fast that she couldn’t always keep up with it, giving the impression she was absentminded and quite flighty. “I was talking to Uncle Alex and Uncle Sean. I know you already know. Don’t think I don’t know when you’re in my head, I can feel you.”

Ethan simply shrugged. 

Sophie knew that unlike their father, Ethan had no qualms with reading her mind when it served his purpose. She also recognized that while he was improving in his abilities, it wasn’t easy to control.

An incident about a month ago had made that painfully clear...

_It happened late in the evening, not long after dinner, when a storm rolled in just as everyone was settling in for the night. The first indication had been the noise. Originally starting as a slight rumbling in the distance, the crashes became louder and sharper as the tempest approached, the vibrations felt even within the fortress of the mansion. At first, the students had looked to Ororo, wondering if she was responsible for the abrupt change in the weather. However, when questioned, she merely shrugged and claimed to have nothing to do with it, her own disposition as sunny as ever._

_Realizing it was nothing more than a spring storm, the mansion’s occupants went about their evening as usual, though some were intrigued, like Sean and Alex, running to a nearby window to gaze at the light display blazing across the night sky. There were also some of the mansion’s younger students who were in need of comfort, afraid of the loud noise they couldn’t quite understand combined with the sheer power of the raging winds beating against the windows. Still, the situation was manageable until a particularly large gust of wind knocked the electricity out, and although the mansion was on a backup generator courtesy of Hank, it had yet to kick on, prompting said mutant to investigate the cause._

_Meanwhile, Sean, Alex and Charles found themselves thrown into chaos as they tried to calm the students. Some who were initially okay were now scared, those who had already been scared were on the verge of hyperventilating, and then there were those who used the newly found darkness as an excuse to get into mischief, the only source of light coming from the brief flashes streaking across the sky and through the large windows, momentarily lighting up the rooms before throwing them back into pitch black darkness._

_After ten minutes that seemed an eternity, Hank solved the problem, discovering the wiring had somehow gotten crossed. With the generators up and kicking, the mansion lit anew, calming those who had moments before been near hysterics. It also revealed the troublemakers, Charles dealing with each in turn before finally sending everyone off to bed, asking Hank, Sean and Alex to escort the younger mutants who were still on edge to bed. He then mentally did a check on everyone to determine they were safely in bed, or at least on their way, carefully noting the whereabouts of his own children._

_Sophie was easy to locate, having not once left his side through the whole ordeal. In fact, she was attached to his side, arms wrapped around him in a death grip._

_“Sophie, do you think you can please let go of me?” He gently asked her, watching as she swiftly and insistently shook her head no. He then added, “Sophie, I know you’re scared and that’s all right, but I need to get Ethan.”_

_“He’s hiding upstairs,” she finally managed, voice above a whisper as she maintained her hold on him._

_Charles nodded. “I know and we can go together, but I need you to let up a little so I can move. I promise I won’t leave you.”_

_Hesitating for a moment, she nodded her head and complied._

_Almost immediately, his arms were around her, lifting her off the ground as she snuggled into his embrace. He carried her with him as he made his way upstairs and down the hall to the very room where he knew Ethan to be, calling, “Ethan?” Getting no reply, he tried again. “Ethan, would you please come out?” Still not getting a reply, he turned his attention back to his daughter. “Sophie, darling, I’m going to put you down for just a moment so I can help Ethan.”_

_Before he’d even finished the sentence, she buried her head in his chest, rapidly shaking it. “No,” she protested, voice muffled by his shirt. “No.”_

_Charles sighed and looked to the door where he saw Hank standing and then offered, “Sophie, how about if Uncle Hank takes you? I promise I’ll be right here; he’ll just hold you for a moment while I get Ethan.”_

_Sophie slowly lifted her head, eyes creeping towards the direction of the bedroom doorway, and saw the blue mutant staring at her kindly. She then glanced back at her father, who was watching her expectantly, and finally nodded, loosening her grip though keeping her eyes on Charles the entire time as he handed her over. The moment he made to leave she would be right there with him._

_Warily turning from his daughter, he turned towards the bed he knew to be his son’s. However, the bed itself was empty. That did nothing, though, to deter him from his course as he made his way over to the piece of furniture and lowered himself to the floor, getting on his hands and knees before lifting the bedding and staring underneath the bed itself. As he did so, the light in the room dimly lightened the area enough that he could make out a small figure, one he had long before detected telepathically and knew to be Ethan._

_The small boy was lying on the floor, dab smack in the center of the darkened space, curled into a ball and shaking. He wasn’t saying a word, wasn’t making any acknowledgement that he knew his father was there. He refused to move enough to even glance in his father’s direction, but he did have just enough presence of mind to telepathically send, ‘Daddy?’_

_The sound of his son’s voice, shaking and scared, was more than enough to cause Charles’s heart to break. Instantly, he was under the bed with Ethan, grabbing hold of the boy and carefully pulling him into his arms. He then maneuvered them both out and into the room, cradling Ethan while rocking him gently and soothingly whispering, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s all going to be all right.”_

_“Hurts,” was all that Ethan could manage, barely even getting that out as he clung to his father for dear life and sobbed, tears streaming down his face._

_As much as Charles hated to invade his children’s minds, he felt it warranted given the circumstances. Almost immediately he found the cause and felt only the sincerest sympathy, for inside his son’s mind were a myriad of thoughts and feelings not his own. Ethan, the poor boy, was overloaded with the fear and anxiety each and every student had experienced that night, the feelings too powerful and too numerous for his small body to handle, his own powers not developed enough to have even a chance of blocking them. Having undergone the same thing in his own life, Charles could relate and tried to help him, projecting his own thoughts as he willed Ethan to calm and relax, all the while trying to block the excess ‘noise’ from entering his son’s mind._

_Eventually Ethan’s grip lessened, as did his tears. He sniffled a couple times and then pulled away from his father, saying, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I tried.”_

_Charles immediately pulled Ethan back against him, hugging him for all he was worth. “I know you did. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. You have done such an amazing job controlling your powers. This was not your fault.”_

_“I just wanted to be like you,” Ethan admitted, resting his head against Charles’s chest. “But I couldn’t do it.”_

_“You will,” Charles assured him, rubbing his son’s back soothingly. “One day you will do extraordinary things, Ethan. Never doubt it. You only need to practice and with time, you’ll improve tremendously.”_

_Ethan let out a small sigh. “I know, practice makes perfect,” he recited the overused cliché._

_Charles gave him a small smile. “If only it were that easy. Unfortunately, practice only makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect.” Hearing Ethan groan into his chest, he added, “Don’t worry, I’ll be here to help you along every step of the way. I promise you that you will get there.”_

_Ethan nodded, feeling his eyes start to droop, a yawn escaping his mouth._

_“Tired?” Charles asked, already knowing the answer and getting a lazy nod in return. Picking Ethan up as he stood, feeling his son relax further in his arms, he walked over to where Hank held Sophie, the girl’s blue eyes showing her fatigue as well, though they had never left him through the entire exchange. “You’re coming with me, but I can’t carry you both. Is it okay if Uncle Hank brings you?”_

_Sophie nodded tiredly, the group making their way out of the bedroom and down the hall to Charles’s room. There, Charles and Hank placed the twins on his bed, Charles thanking Hank before closing the door, toeing off his shoes and climbing in beside them. One child on either side of him, they both latched onto him and began drifting off, Charles’s voice soothingly whispering to them the last thing they heard as they both entered the land of nod._

Ever since that night, Ethan had been working extra hard to control his abilities and shield out any unwanted thoughts or emotions. He had been improving in leaps and bounds, their father commenting on more than one occasion that he was incredibly proud of both Ethan’s progress and his dedication. 

While Sophie knew Ethan appreciated having the man’s approval, the way his eyes lit up each time a dead giveaway, she suspected the source of his motivation had shifted. Before he had wanted nothing more than to be like their father, now his primary focus was ensuring he never experienced a night like that one again. Having witnessed what that night did to him, she hoped he never had to go through pain like that again. She may not have been telepathic, but there was more than one kind of hurt and when he hurt, she did as well.

Seeing the expectant look Ethan was currently giving her, she knew he was growing quickly impatient. While he may have poked around in her head more than she cared for, he did still make an effort from time to time. The fact he was letting her share this information instead of simply taking it was not lost on her.

“Uncle Sean said Papa pushed him off the satellite dish,” she finally related. “Papa pushed him! Can you believe it? He said it helped him fly, but that’s so scary. He could have hurt Uncle Sean. Daddy wouldn’t hurt anyone, but they said he’s nothing like Daddy.” By the time she finished, her mood had become far more despondent, recalling just how unlike Charles her other father was. It was an image she had been struggling to reconcile.

“He isn’t,” Ethan agreed. “But Uncle Hank told me Daddy hurt him before he left.”

“What?” Sophie asked, eyes wide. She couldn’t believe their father was capable of hurting someone, much less their other father. “That doesn’t sound like Daddy.”

“I know. I don’t think he meant to hurt him, but he said something that did.”

“And Papa left,” Sophie finished, feeling sadder than before as Ethan nodded his head. 

“I think they hurt each other,” Ethan commented quietly. “But I don’t know what our other father did to Daddy. Uncle Hank didn’t say.”

Sophie stared at him sadly. While she had taken to calling Erik ‘Papa’ to differentiate him from Charles, Ethan couldn’t bring himself to use what he considered a term of endearment. Instead, he would only ever refer to him as ‘my other father’, for that’s all he was to her brother. Though in some ways, he wasn’t even that. To Ethan, Erik was simply the other half of his biological makeup. Still, his heightened curiosity pushed him to ask questions, needing to know about Erik and what had happened that day so long ago. She knew he couldn’t just leave it alone; it simply wasn’t in him.

“They said that Daddy and Papa loved each other, but they were too different to stay together,” Sophie offered. “They didn’t tell me what happened, but I think it was really bad. No one will tell us anything, but they always look so sad.”

“They do know something else and it is bad,” Ethan confirmed stoically. “Uncle Hank wouldn’t say much either, but I could feel his pain when he thought about it. Something really bad happened and it’s still hurting them. I think it was more than words.”

Sophie nodded her head in agreement. “I don’t think we can fix this, Ethan.” She couldn’t see any way that they could help either of their fathers and it hurt.

“Maybe not, but we have to do something.”

“What can we do? We’re not even five yet. We’re too little.”

“Maybe you are, but I’m not.” His eyes shown with determination, Sophie knowing there was no deterring him once he set his mind to something.

“We’re the same age,” she argued instead, already knowing his response before he said it.

“No, sorry, I’m twenty-eight minutes older than you,” Ethan pointed out. He always took great delight in reminding her of that, something she had learned to take in stride. Then his face lit up and Sophie knew she was going to regret whatever it was he was thinking. “Maybe we can find our other father. Or Aunt Raven! I bet she knows something.”

“Aunt Raven?” Sophie asked in confusion, deciding to start there.

“Yes,” Ethan said as though it were obvious. “She’s a mutant who used to live here. She was Daddy’s family, but she left with our other father. If we find her, maybe she can tell us something.” He then took off down the hallway.

“We don’t even know where Papa is!” Sophie called, running after him.

_But we will find out_ , he mentally projected. _I’m not giving up yet._

Feeling uneasy, she couldn’t help but think, ‘This won’t end well.’

* * *

Sitting in his study after his discussion with Hank, Charles considered their conversation as well as what he had overheard. He knew what the other man said was true; he had put this off long enough. Yet how did he go about telling a man, one he hadn’t talked to in years, that he was a father of not one, but two children? 

He didn’t have time to think about it for long as the door swung open and two small bodies ran in. So lost in thought, he was taken by surprise at their sudden appearance. His initial thought was that something was wrong, but a quick check told him they were fine which meant there was only one other reason they would be here: they wanted something. Based on the things he had heard earlier, he had a pretty good idea what they were after.

“What have I told you about knocking?” Charles asked sternly, though the smile on his face made it obvious he wasn’t upset. If anything he was struggling to hide his amusement.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Sophie looked properly chastised, slowly walking forward, while Ethan hopped into the chair in front of his desk, Sophie sitting next to him.

“Yes, I know,” Ethan groaned, adding upon seeing Charles’s expectant face, “I’m sorry. I’ll remember next time.”

Charles tried not to laugh even though he knew he should be chastising his son. “So, would you like to tell me why you both came running in here?”

“Tell us about Aunt Raven,” Ethan requested eagerly without preamble. 

‘Just as I thought,’ he thought to himself, resigned to the conversation he was about to have. Although he had been expecting it, he still felt like he was being doused with cold water; hearing her name brought back a lot of pain he had tried to forget. Not wishing to show that to his children, he pushed his own feelings aside for the moment. “Aunt Raven?” He asked with amusement, hiding how hard it was to say her name, one he hadn’t uttered in some time.

“She is our aunt, right?” Ethan asked, tone a combination of confusion and concern he had gotten it wrong.

Although Raven had been the one to leave, he had once been her brother and he knew in that moment that nothing had changed. At least, not for him. He couldn’t claim to know how she felt, especially after all of these years, but he still cared for her despite all the pain. The hole he felt was from her physical absence and all the ways he had failed her, things that still haunted him. Yet even as he had let her go so many years before, he had never been able to let her go in the ways that mattered; he could never truly be rid of her, Raven having become an extension of himself. He knew deep down that she would be with him for the rest of his life, whether she ever came back or not.

Charles gave Ethan a small smile. “I suppose she is.” He then added, “I gather you’ve been talking to Uncle Hank.” 

Ethan nodded. “Yes, he said she lived here before.”

“She did,” Charles confirmed. “She first came to live here with me when we were young. I was only a child myself when I found her.”

“You were a child too?” Sophie asked innocently, clearly trying to wrap her head around the thought of her father once being young and small.

Charles chuckled. “Yes, just like the two of you. Though I was a tad older when Raven came into my life.”

“So she’s not really your sister?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“She is in all the ways that count,” Charles amended. “Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life that you care about.”

“Like Uncle Alex, Uncle Hank and Uncle Sean,” Sophie said with a grin. 

Charles nodded. “Exactly right. Not everyone is lucky enough to have their biological family care about them, but sometimes they can make their own family from the people who do.”

“That’s why they come here?” She asked, eyes wide.

“Unfortunately it is one of the reasons,” Charles said, feeling his heart tug at the sadness on her face. 

She took a minute to process it before firmly stating, “Then we’re their family.” Ethan nodding his head in agreement.

Charles looked at both of them with pride. “Yes, I fully agree and I am very proud of you both.” This earned him two smiles in turn. 

“But what about Aunt Raven?” Ethan asked, returning to the original topic. 

Charles couldn’t help but think about Hank’s words from earlier and how prophetic they were. “She is smart, beautiful, caring; she certainly worried over me enough. All things I should have told her… I think you both would have liked her.”

Ethan frowned. “Where is she now?” 

“I don’t know,” Charles admitted. “She was by my side for many years and I loved her a great deal. I still do. But she needed to grow and unfortunately, that meant she had to leave. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Why?” Ethan asked. “She was your family. You said so. Family doesn’t go away. Not if they love you.”

It wasn’t hard for Charles to see that this was about more than just Raven. Nor did he have to be a mindreader to know what was going through his son’s head. “People leave for different reasons, but it doesn’t mean they stop loving you. Or that you stop loving them either.”

“Uncle Hank said she went with him,” Ethan softly commented, eyes staring down at the floor; he didn’t need to name the ‘him’ in question.

“Yes,” Charles agreed, trying not to choke on his own emotions that were now overwhelming him, forcing their way forward despite his resolve to the contrary. “When your father left, she chose to go with him. It was honestly for the best. For everyone.”

“How?” Ethan asked in frustration, not understanding, eyes still refusing to look up.

Charles sighed. “She asked to go and I let her, not that I could have stopped her once she set her mind to something.” He paused for a moment before saying, “Sometimes, when you really love something, you have to let it go and trust that one day it will return. People are the same way.”

“But she didn’t come back,” Ethan countered, softly adding, “And neither did he.”

A sad smile came over Charles’s face. “They didn’t, but that was their choice. You can’t make people stay. They have to want to be in your life. Everyone inside these walls is here because they want to be, not because I keep them. Many of them may decide to venture out into the world, far away from here, for any number of reasons. And while it will be hard, when you’re both older, I will allow you that same choice.”

“I won’t leave you, Daddy,” Sophie quickly cut in, appearing horrified at the thought.

“While I do appreciate the sentiment, one day you both may want to leave as well and I want you to so that you can also grow,” Charles told her, giving her a hug as she ran around and threw her arms around him in tears. He comfortingly rubbed circles on her back as he added, “But don’t worry. You still have a lot of growing to do here first. I expect it will be a great many years.”

“Okay,” she agreed, after she had calmed down.

“Though I do hope you will want to return,” he commented softly as she turned to leave, not expecting her to hear it.

“Of course!” She exclaimed.

“Me too,” Ethan added softly but firmly as he finally glanced up with a grim smile, Charles noticing the unshed tears he had tried to hide. 

“But remember that no matter what path you choose, this is always your home and I will always be your family. You can always return.”

“Do you think they will?” Ethan asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know,” Charles answered honestly, conflicted though a part of him had always held out hope that one day they would return. Even with the problems he knew it would bring, he was willing to deal with it when it came if it meant having them back. “I would like to hope maybe one day…”

Ethan and Sophie both nodded sadly.

Trying to think of a way to help them, knowing he couldn’t bring Erik or Raven back, he remembered something. “I know it’s not the same as having her here, but I think I have some pictures of your Aunt Raven packed away in my old things. If you want, I can find them for you.” 

The twins glanced up in unison - the ‘twin thing’ as Alex had taken to calling it - with hopeful looks on their faces, nodding eagerly. 

“And I might recall a few stories about her,” he added, feeling better as he watched their faces light up with grins.

“Really?” Ethan asked, both hopeful yet cautious.

Charles knew Ethan was fearful of another disappointment, one he fully understood. The last thing he wanted was to be one more person who caused that to either of his children. “If you want to hear them.”

“Yes, please,” Ariana excitedly agreed while Ethan calmly replied, “That would be nice.”

Watching them, he knew that it would be a long while before he lost them, either to the world or to something else. Yet he also knew that they were growing up, time seeming to fly by. He felt like he would blink and find them grown, recalling an incident the week before...

_He told her she needed to wait until after dinner lest she spoil her appetite, but he should have known the scent of the fresh cookies drifting through the kitchen, out the door and down the hall, would make for a tempting aroma she that she would be unable to resist._

_‘Besides, it was only one cookie,’ she reasoned. The real problem turned out to be the plate of cookies itself, which was on the counter just beyond her reach, but that was easily resolved. It took her no time to grab a chair from the table, positioning it before the counter and climbing up. Just as she reached forward to grab the coveted sweet, he opened the kitchen door and caught her in the act._

_“Sophie Cassandra Xavier, what did I tell you about eating cookies before dinner?” Charles scolded. She had been unconsciously telegraphing her thoughts to him again. Having caught onto her objective during the planning phase, he had made a beeline straight for the kitchen in an attempt to thwart her, arriving at the critical moment._

_Mortified at being caught, Sophie’s hand immediately dropped to her side. Unfortunately, in her haste, she knocked over the box of rice sitting nearby, waiting to be cooked with the rest of dinner. Helpless to do anything, she watched the box tip over and the precious grains fall to the floor below, almost as in slow motion. She let out a squeak of surprise followed by a gasp at the sound they made as they connected with the floor, watching as they scattered across the tiles in a monochromatic mosaic._

_Crouching down on the floor, she scrutinized the creation more carefully and slowly reached out her hand towards the pieces, as though afraid simply touching them would irreparably shatter the image like a broken stained-glass window. It was as her fingertip made contact with a piece of rice, the single grain sticking to her finger and pulling away from the floor as she moved the digit closer to her face, that she seemed to realize she wasn’t alone._

_Guiltily she glanced back up at Charles who now found himself standing frozen in the doorway._

_Watching his daughter’s discovery and the wonderment she took in such a simple thing brought him pause. Every thought he just had of scolding her went right out the window as he observed her, lost in her own little world, one that he was unable to truly understand no matter how much he probed inside her mind, something he was wont to do. So, he simply stared at her and tried to take the moment in, knowing that one day he would find she had grown up and the wonderment gone with it._

_“Daddy are you okay?” she asked worriedly, clearly confused by the way he was staring at her._

_He blinked his eyes a few times, smiled at her and said, “I am perfectly fine, sweetheart, just promise me you won’t grow up too fast.”_

_Sophie giggled, answering the same way she always did. “I won’t. Cross my heart,” she said, performing the motion with her hand._

_Charles reached down, picked her up, and added, “Good. Hopefully this one lasts longer than the one you made me earlier when I told you not to get into the cookies.”_

_Flinching at the reminder of what she’d done wrong, she turned her head away, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face. “I’m sorry, Daddy, honest. I’ll do better this time.”_

_“Sophie,” he started. Getting no response, he took his free hand and turned her head to face him, saying, “I’m not mad at you, but it is important you remember that when you make a promise, you must always keep it.” Seeing the tears forming in her blue eyes, shining like the sea, he felt his heart break a little and inwardly groaned at just how much she had him wrapped around her little finger. His entire demeanor instantly softened. “That being said, I want you to know I am not disappointed in you. I never could be.”_

_She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, his own pulling her closer and tightening around her small frame just enough to leave her feeling safe, secure and loved._

Yes, he was well aware of how fast they were growing. He was also aware that the amount of time he spent with them seemed to get smaller all the time. Running the school had taken a lot of work, meaning a lot of hours away from his children. These days, he felt as though Alex, Sean and Hank were practically raising them as they saw his children more than he did. 

He still had a great deal of paperwork to finish, but his decision was already made. 

“You know, there’s still some time before dinner,” he called out to them, watching them turn around before they opened the door. “Perhaps we can fit in a story or two now. With a cookie, of course.”

“Cookies before dinner?” Sophie asked in glee as their father abandoned his paperwork to join them.

“You said it would spoil our appetite,” Ethan recited suspiciously, following his father and sister out of the study and down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Charles nodded. “Very true. Though I believe an exception would be okay just this once. Unless, of course, you don’t want a cookie.”

“No, I do!” Sophie exclaimed, causing Charles to laugh before turning to Ethan.

“I suppose,” the boy agreed, even as Charles knew he was secretly happy for the sweet.

“Good. I’m thinking cookies with milk. Then I can tell you all about the time I met your Aunt Raven. It was actually in the kitchen,” Charles recalled.

“Was she getting cookies too?” Sophie asked.

“Not exactly. Though she was going through the refrigerator late at night...”

Yes, the paperwork could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another chapter down. Yay? I'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting (or even very good). I stayed up late (or is 4:00 am early?) working on it, so I'm tired and I've looked at it so much, I honestly don't know anymore what it is other than done. Hopefully someone likes it. I'll also try to make the next part better, so please bear with me.
> 
> And yes, I gave Charles use of his legs in this because I wanted to (birthday gift to myself there). While it is partial wish fulfillment and partial plot device, I'm planning to explain it in a later chapter. Just don't expect much out of it as that's not a major plot point.
> 
> I will post the next chapter as soon as it's done. In the meantime, my offer from the previous chapter still stands. I know things are still crazy (maybe even crazier depending on where you are) and the upcoming holidays can bring their own stress in the best years. If anyone wants or needs someone to talk to, I'm here to listen. Mental health is important, especially during these times, and sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to about whatever is going on. Or even to provide a distraction (fair warning, I will probably send you random cute/funny videos like seals or dogs jumping into leaf piles). Social interaction is also important though hard with current shutdowns and social distancing. So please do not hesitate to reach out, if not to me then to someone.
> 
> As always, please leave comments and kudos as those fully make my day. Seriously, I will love you forever.


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